I have learnt to under-estimate its
power. I could laugh as I sacrificed mine to my mother's wishes; but
that, and that alone, has given rise to all these horrors. But no, all
is not yet lost! Paula will listen to me; and when she sees what my
inmost feelings are--when I have confessed all to her, good and evil
alike--when she knows that my heart did but wander, and has returned to
her who has taught me that love is no jest, but solemn earnest, swaying
all mankind, she will come round--everything will come right."

A noble and rapturous light came into his face, and as he walked on, his
hopes rose:

"When she is mine I know that everything good in me that I have
inherited from my forefathers will blossom forth. When my mother called
me to my father's bed-side, she said: 'Come, Orion, life is earnest for
you and me and all our house, your father...' Yes, it is earnest indeed,
however all this may end! To win Paula, to conciliate her, to bring her
near to me, to have her by my side and do something great, something
worthy of her--this is such a purpose in life as I need! With her, only
with her I know I could achieve it; without her, or with that gilded
toy Katharina, old age will bring me nothing but satiety, sobering and
regrets--or, to call it by its Christian designation: bitter repentance.
As Antaeus renewed his strength by contact with mother earth, so, father
do I feel myself grow taller when I only think of her. She is salvation
and honor; the other is ruin and misery in the future. My poor, dear
Father, you will, you must survive this stroke to see the fulfilment of
all your joyful hopes of your son. You always loved Paula; perhaps you
may be the one to appease her and bring her back to me; and how dear
will she be to you, and, God willing, to my mother, too, when you see
her reigning by my side an ornament to this house, to this city, to
this country--reigning like a queen, your son's redeeming and guardian
angel!"

Uplifted, carried away by these thoughts, he had reached the viridarium.
He there found Sebek the steward waiting for his young master: "My
lord is asleep now," he whispered, "as the physician foretold, but his
face.... Oh, if only we had Philippus here again!"

"Have you sent the chariot with the fast horses to the Convent of
St. Cecilia?" asked Orion eagerly; and when Sebek had replied in the
affirmative and vanished again indoors, the young man, overwhelmed with
painful forebodings, sank on h