derously]. Lieutenant Schneidekind.

SCHNEIDEKIND [in a stifled voice]. Yes, Sir. [The table vibrates
visibly.]

STRAMMFEST. Come out of it, you fool: you're upsetting the ink.

Schneidekind emerges, red in the face with suppressed mirth.

STRAMMFEST. Why don't you laugh? Don't you appreciate Her Imperial
Highness's joke?

SCHNEIDEKIND [suddenly becoming solemn]. I don't want to, sir.

STRAMMFEST. Laugh at once, sir. I order you to laugh.

SCHNEIDEKIND [with a touch of temper]. I really can't, sir. [He sits
down decisively.]

STRAMMFEST [growling at him]. Yah! [He turns impressively to the Grand
Duchess.] Your Imperial Highness desires me to address you as comrade?

THE GRAND DUCHESS [rising and waving a red handkerchief]. Long live the
Revolution, comrade!

STRAMMFEST [rising and saluting]. Proletarians of all lands, unite.
Lieutenant Schneidekind, you will rise and sing the Marseillaise.

SCHNEIDEKIND [rising]. But I cannot, sir. I have no voice, no ear.

STRAMMFEST. Then sit down; and bury your shame in your typewriter.
[Schneidekind sits down.] Comrade Annajanska, you have eloped with a
young officer.

THE GRAND DUCHESS [astounded]. General Strammfest, you lie.

STRAMMFEST. Denial, comrade, is useless. It is through that officer
that your movements have been traced. [The Grand Duchess is suddenly
enlightened, and seems amused. Strammfest continues an a forensic
manner.] He joined you at the Golden Anchor in Hakonsburg. You gave
us the slip there; but the officer was traced to Potterdam, where you
rejoined him and went alone to Premsylople. What have you done with that
unhappy young man? Where is he?

THE GRAND DUCHESS [pretending to whisper an important secret]. Where he
has always been.

STRAMMFEST [eagerly]. Where is that?

THE GRAND DUCHESS [impetuously]. In your imagination. I came alone. I
am alone. Hundreds of officers travel every day from Hakonsburg to
Potterdam. What do I know about them?

STRAMMFEST. They travel in khaki. They do not travel in full dress court
uniform as this man did.

SCHNEIDEKIND. Only officers who are eloping with grand duchesses wear
court uniform: otherwise the grand duchesses could not be seen with
them.

STRAMMFEST. Hold your tongue. [Schneidekind, in high dudgeon, folds his
arms and retires from the conversation. The General returns to his paper
and to his examination of the Grand Duchess.] This officer travelled
with your passport. What have you to say to