ways, since that
time, been forced to look upon John Smith, who is still alive, in the
light of a salamander. I cannot pretend to give all the 'Tea-Pot's'
paragraphs verbatim, but one of them runs thus:

'Oh, yes!--Oh, we perceive! Oh, no doubt! The editor over the way is a
genius--O, my! Oh, goodness, gracious!--what is this world coming to?
Oh, tempora! Oh, Moses!'

A philippic at once so caustic and so classical, alighted like a
bombshell among the hitherto peaceful citizens of Nopolis. Groups of
excited individuals gathered at the corners of the streets. Every one
awaited, with heartfelt anxiety, the reply of the dignified Smith. Next
morning it appeared as follows:

'We quote from "The Tea-Pot" of yesterday the subjoined paragraph: "Oh,
yes! Oh, we perceive! Oh, no doubt! Oh, my! Oh, goodness! Oh, tempora!
Oh, Moses!" Why, the fellow is all O! That accounts for his reasoning
in a circle, and explains why there is neither beginning nor end to him,
nor to anything he says. We really do not believe the vagabond can write
a word that hasn't an O in it. Wonder if this O-ing is a habit of his?
By-the-by, he came away from Down-East in a great hurry. Wonder if he
O's as much there as he does here? "O! it is pitiful."'

The indignation of Mr. Bullet-head at these scandalous insinuations, I
shall not attempt to describe. On the eel-skinning principle, however,
he did not seem to be so much incensed at the attack upon his integrity
as one might have imagined. It was the sneer at his style that drove him
to desperation. What!--he Touch-and-go Bullet-head!--not able to write
a word without an O in it! He would soon let the jackanapes see that he
was mistaken. Yes! he would let him see how much he was mistaken, the
puppy! He, Touch-and-go Bullet-head, of Frogpondium, would let Mr. John
Smith perceive that he, Bullet-head, could indite, if it so pleased
him, a whole paragraph--aye! a whole article--in which that contemptible
vowel should not once--not even once--make its appearance. But no;--that
would be yielding a point to the said John Smith. He, Bullet-head, would
make no alteration in his style, to suit the caprices of any Mr. Smith
in Christendom. Perish so vile a thought! The O forever; He would
persist in the O. He would be as O-wy as O-wy could be.

Burning with the chivalry of this determination, the great Touch-and-go,
in the next 'Tea-Pot,' came out merely with this simple but resolute
paragraph, in reference to