nrod began fighting with them right before me, and it was really all
the barber and I could do to drag him away from them. The barber was
very kind about it, but Penrod----"

"I tell you he's a lunatic!" Mr. Schofield would have said the same
thing of a Frenchman infuriated by the epithet "camel." The philosophy
of insult needs expounding.

"SH!" said Mrs. Schofield. "It does seem a kind of frenzy."

"Why on earth should any sane person mind being called----"

"SH!" said Mrs. Schofield. "It's beyond ME!"

"What are you SH-ing me for?" demanded Mr. Schofield explosively.

"SH!" said Mrs. Schofield. "It's Mr. Kinosling, the new rector of Saint
Joseph's."

"Where?"

"SH! On the front porch with Margaret; he's going to stay for dinner. I
do hope----"

"Bachelor, isn't he?"

"Yes."

"OUR old minister was speaking of him the other day," said Mr.
Schofield, "and he didn't seem so terribly impressed."

"SH! Yes; about thirty, and of course so superior to most of Margaret's
friends--boys home from college. She thinks she likes young Robert
Williams, I know--but he laughs so much! Of course there isn't any
comparison. Mr. Kinosling talks so intellectually; it's a good thing for
Margaret to hear that kind of thing, for a change and, of course, he's
very spiritual. He seems very much interested in her." She paused to
muse. "I think Margaret likes him; he's so different, too. It's the
third time he's dropped in this week, and I----"

"Well," said Mr. Schofield grimly, "if you and Margaret want him to come
again, you'd better not let him see Penrod."

"But he's asked to see him; he seems interested in meeting all the
family. And Penrod nearly always behaves fairly well at table."
She paused, and then put to her husband a question referring to his
interview with Penrod upstairs. "Did you--did you--do it?"

"No," he answered gloomily. "No, I didn't, but----" He was interrupted
by a violent crash of china and metal in the kitchen, a shriek from
Della, and the outrageous voice of Penrod. The well-informed Della,
ill-inspired to set up for a wit, had ventured to address the scion of
the house roguishly as "little gentleman," and Penrod, by means of the
rapid elevation of his right foot, had removed from her supporting
hands a laden tray. Both parents, started for the kitchen, Mr. Schofield
completing his interrupted sentence on the way.

"But I will, now!"

The rite thus promised was hastily but accurately performed