proper judgment or unpardonable
assurance, this woman occupied the apartment which had been my mother's:
in my just indignation I loudly complained to my father of this
unpleasant forgetfulness of my rights as well as wishes. He reprimanded
me severely for making any remonstrance on the subject, adding that it
was needless for me either to feel or express surprise on the subject,
as it was his desire I should habituate myself to consider Madame Roland
in every respect as a second mother, and show her a corresponding
deference. I replied that it would be a profanation to that sacred name
to act as he commanded; and, to his extreme wrath, I never allowed any
opportunity to escape by which I could evince my deeply rooted aversion
to Madame Roland. At times my father's rage knew no bounds, and bitterly
would he reproach me in the presence of that woman for the coldness and
ingratitude of my conduct towards an angel, as he styled her, sent by
heaven for our consolation and happiness. 'Let me entreat of you to
speak for yourself alone,' said I, one day, quite wearied with the
hypocritical conduct of Madame Roland and my father's blind infatuation.
The harshness and unreasonableness of his conduct became at last quite
unendurable; while Madame Roland, with the honeyed words of feigned
affection, would artfully intercede for me, because she well knew by so
doing she should only increase the storm she had raised. 'You must make
some allowances for Clemence,' she would say; 'the sorrow she
experiences for the excellent parent we all deplore is so natural, and
even praiseworthy, that you should respect her just grief, and pity her
for her unfounded suspicions.' 'You hear her! you hear her!' would my
father exclaim, pointing with mingled triumph and admiration to the
accomplished hypocrite; 'what angelic goodness! what enchanting
nobleness and generosity! Instantly entreat her pardon for the
unworthiness of your conduct.' 'Never!' I used to reply; 'the spirit of
my angel mother, who now beholds me, would be pained to witness such a
degradation in her child;' and, bursting with grief and mortification, I
would fly to my own chamber, leaving my father to dry the tears, and
calm the ruffled feelings of the woman I despised and hated. You will, I
hope, excuse me, my lord, for dwelling so long and so minutely on all my
early troubles, but it is only by so doing I can accurately describe to
you the sort of life I led at that period."

"I