letter registered. Money stolen through the post has always been
abstracted from registered letters. I have never heard of one letter of
mine not being delivered in Europe and in America. People never take
their chance. They never open a letter unless they know there is money
in it. How can they know if you are careful in concealing paper money
under cover? Never label your letters, 'There is money in it.'

7. If you post a letter, which you do not want anybody to read except
the person to whom it is addressed, do not forget to write your name and
address on the back of the envelope, so that, if not delivered, or
mislaid, it may be returned to you unopened.

8. If you want an important letter to be delivered in New York at a
determined time, take my advice: Post that letter, in the city,
twenty-four hours before the said determined time.

9. Never, or very seldom, in some exceptional cases, answer a letter by
return post, even if the request be made. Always take twenty-four hours
for consideration. Besides, it will give you the appearance of being a
very busy man, which is always a splendid advertisement.

10. When you enclose a bill or a cheque in a letter, pin it to the
letter, that it may not drop when the envelope is opened, and before
posting it feel the letter-box inside to see that it is not choked.

11. If you write a letter of a private nature--words of love that you
would be sorry for everyone to read except the lady you are addressing,
put a blank sheet of notepaper around the letter. Most envelopes are
transparent, and may disclose your secrets.

12. Always read twice the address you have written on your envelopes.
Apply the same process to your letters; your time will not be wasted.

13. When you write to a friend, do not inquire about his health and that
of his family after your signature. It would look like an afterthought.

14. Ladies, whose minds are full of afterthoughts, generally write the
most important part of their letters in the postscript. I once received
a letter, in a woman's handwriting, the signature of which was unknown
to me. At the end of sixteen pages of pretty prattle there was a
postscript: 'You will see by my new signature that I am married.'

CHAPTER X

ON PARASITES

Steer clear once for all of useless people and parasites of all
sorts--bores, who make you waste your time; indelicate people, who
borrow money when they do not know whether they will be able to retur