d towns for others, and
incite aliens to serve on municipal boards. Then he gets tired of his
weakness and starts papers to condemn himself. They had a Chinaman on
the Municipality last year. They have now got rid of him, and the
present body is constituted of two officials and four non-officials.
_Therefore_ they complain of the influence of officialdom.

Having thoroughly settled all the differences of Penang to my own great
satisfaction, I removed myself to a Chinese theatre set in the open
road, and made of sticks and old gunny-bags. The orchestra alone
convinced me that there was something radically wrong with the Chinese
mind. Once, long ago in Jummu, I heard the infernal clang of the horns
used by the Devil-dancers who had come from far beyond Ladakh to do
honour to the Prince that day set upon his throne. That was about three
thousand miles to the north, but the character of the music was
unchanged. A thousand Chinamen stood as close as possible to the horrid
din and enjoyed it. Once more, can anything be done to a people without
nerves as without digestion, and, if reports speak truly, without
morals? But it is not true that they are born with full-sized pigtails.
The thing grows, and in its very earliest stages is the prettiest
head-dressing imaginable, being soft brown, very fluffy, about three
inches long, and dressed as to the end with red silk. An infant pigtail
is just like the first tender sprout of a tulip bulb, and would be
lovable were not the Chinese baby so very horrible of hue and shape. He
isn't as pretty as the pig that Alice nursed in Wonderland, and he lies
quite still and never cries. This is because he is afraid of being
boiled and eaten. I saw cold boiled babies on a plate being carried
through the heart of the town. They said it was only sucking-pig, but I
knew better. Dead sucking-pigs don't grin with their eyes open.

About this time the faces of the Chinese frightened me more than ever,
so I ran away to the outskirts of the town and saw a windowless house
that carried the Square and Compass in gold and teakwood above the door.
I took heart at meeting these familiar things again, and knowing that
where they were was good fellowship and much charity, in spite of all
the secret societies in the world. Penang is to be congratulated on one
of the prettiest little lodges in the East.

No. V

OF THE THRESHOLD OF THE FAR EAST AND THE DWELLERS THEREON. A
DISSERTATION UPON THE USE OF THE