less he found it in my eyes,
which have ever been telltales. But in that moment I would have laid
down my life could I have wrenched from my memory that episode of his
history, the secret of which it mercilessly withheld from me.

I have a dim recollection of saying something more or less conventional
to Sir Walter and Lady Tressidy, and then, at last, I got away.

I had fancied that not to have her face before my eyes, that not to
endure the pang of seeing them together, and to escape into the open
air, would relieve the tension of my feelings. But it was not so. The
moment the door had closed behind me the agony of the thought that I had
seen her perhaps for the last time, and the poignancy of my regret that
I had not been able to put to her one question which rang in my brain,
became well-nigh unendurable.

I walked rapidly away from the house, telling myself that the best thing
for me would be to leave England again at once. I had been a fool to
fancy myself homesick, and to come back--to _this_. So far my life
had been lived contentedly enough apart from the influence or love of
women. What strange weakness of the soul had seized me that I should
thus have yielded without a struggle to a single glance from a pair of
violet eyes?

Yes, assuredly the sooner I got away the better. There had been nothing
save a restless desire for home to bring me to my native land. There was
_less_ than nothing to keep me there.

Never to see her again--never again! I believed that my mind was made
up, and yet I think I would have cut off my hand for the chance of one
more moment with her--one more glimpse of her face to take away across
the sea, even though she neither saw nor spoke to me.

I walked aimlessly in the darkness, knowing not and caring not where I
went. I heard a clock strike eight, realising suddenly that I was far
from my hotel, and that I had wearied myself uselessly.

I must write some letters that night, crying off two or three
engagements that I had been foolish enough to make, and explaining that
I had been suddenly and unexpectedly called away. As I had walked I had
made up my mind whither I would go. India would be rather good at this
time of year, I thought, and I had always promised myself, when I should
find the leisure, to make certain explorations. There had also been an
idea smouldering in my mind for a year or two that with my knowledge of
the language, and a proper disguise, it might be possible f