all vessel might be discovered. Oh, moment that has ever
since embittered my life! The agony he endured no human tongue can
describe. He was in a state of distraction. I, with a guilty officiousness,
displayed her wardrobe. He turned from it in an agony. The dead body of the
babe he kissed and pressed to his bosom. Low groans had as yet only escaped
him; but suddenly, to my alarm, he resolved to go with me and die on her
grave. I trembled and felt a faintness come over me--for I was then young
in guilt. My associate, hardened and inventive, began to urge the folly of
the attempt. He pushed her from him with violence, and would have set out;
but at that moment word was given that the cruiser was in sight, as if
bearing for the land. Two friends and some of the crew seized him, and by
force hurried him on board the vessel, and set sail. I felt as if reprieved
from death, and did not go on board; for I dreaded the presence of my
injured master. We returned to Glasgow, where we remained for a few weeks,
rioting on the fruits of our guilt. One morning when I awoke after a
debauch, I found my companion fled, and all the gold and valuables gone. I
arose in a state of distraction, ran to the port in quest of her; but in
vain--no vessel had sailed. I proceeded to Greenock; on the way I got
traces of her, and dogged her at every turn. My mind took a new direction
as I followed her. I looked upon her now as a fiend that had led me to
ruin, and left me, loaded with guilt, to die under the pangs of poverty and
an awakened conscience. My mind was distracted. Holding up my hands to
heaven, I vowed vengeance, and cursed and swore in such a manner that
people on the road turned and looked at me, and thought me mad. I was mad;
but it was the madness of passion that burned in my brain, and the stings
of conscience that pierced my heart. I paused several times in my pursuit.
I was told by one traveller that the woman I sought was not a mile from me,
that she was sitting by the road-side drinking ardent spirits alone, and
muttering strange words to herself. Ha! thought I, conscience is busy with
her too, and she drinks to drown its dreadful voice. 'Shall I kill her?' I
said to myself. My heart yearned for her blood. Why should I deny it? I
felt that I required that satisfaction to enable me to live a little longer
upon earth. So much was my frenzy roused, that I pictured to myself a total
impossibility to live and breathe if I did not feel the