tting
good cider run over the floor?"

Then they all three began with one voice, "Look at that horrid mallet!
Supposing you and me/she was married, and supposing we/you had a
son, and supposing he was to grow to man's estate, and supposing he was
to come down here to draw cider like as we be, and supposing that there
mallet was to fall down on his head and kill him, how dreadful it would
be!"

Then the young squire burst out a-laughing, and laughed till he was
tired. But at last he reached up to the old mallet and pulled it out,
and put it safe on the floor. And he shook his head and said, "I've
travelled far and I've travelled fast, but never have I met with three
such sillies as you three. Now I can't marry one of the three biggest
sillies in the world. So I shall start again on my travels, and if I can
find three bigger sillies than you three, then I'll come back and be
married--not otherwise."

So he wished them good-bye and started again on his travels, leaving
them all crying; this time because the marriage was off!

Well, the young man travelled far and he travelled fast, but never did
he find a bigger silly, until one day he came upon an old woman's
cottage that had some grass growing on the thatched roof.

And the old woman was trying her best to cudgel her cow into going up a
ladder to eat the grass. But the poor thing was afraid and durst not go.
Then the old woman tried coaxing, but it wouldn't go. You never saw such
a sight! The cow getting more and more flustered and obstinate, the old
woman getting hotter and hotter.

At last the young squire said, "It would be easier if _you_ went up the
ladder, cut the grass, and threw it down for the cow to eat."

"A likely story that," says the old woman. "A cow can cut grass for
herself. And the foolish thing will be quite safe up there, for I'll tie
a rope round her neck, pass the rope down the chimney, and fasten
t'other end to my wrist, so as when I'm doing my bit o' washing, she
can't fall off the roof without my knowing it. So mind your own
business, young sir."

Well, after a while the old woman coaxed and codgered and bullied and
badgered the cow up the ladder, and when she got it on to the roof she
tied a rope round its neck, passed the rope down the chimney, and
fastened t'other end to her wrist. Then she went about her bit of
washing, and young squire he went on his way.

But he hadn't gone but a bit when he heard the awfullest hullabaloo. He
ga