ope, and persisted with such
vehemence that his wife and son, wearied out by his constant
shrieking, gave him one, with which he put an end to his own
existence. Lamentable as these awful examples of the deceitfulness and
depravity of the human heart were, yet they operated more powerfully
than many exhortations, in inculcating upon the baptized the solemn
warning, "Let him that standeth take heed lest he fall."
At the same time there wanted not instances of an opposite
description, to prove the reality of God's work, and the power of
divine grace, to recall and establish the deluded wanderer, and to
preserve the humble believer amid the strongest temptations and the
sorest trials; to enable him to maintain a consistent conduct through
life, and to seal the sincerity of his faith by a peaceful, if not a
triumphant death. Early in the year, Judith, a full communicant, died.
She had come to Hopedale with her husband, Tuglavina, and always
conducted herself with great propriety. After his death she married
Abel in 1801, and with him came to live at Hopedale, 1804. When the
awakening took place she was greatly enlivened; but like many of the
old baptized people, who thought themselves converted because they
had some knowledge, and a fluent way of expressing themselves on
religious subjects, she did not at first shew much of the Divine life
in her soul; till by the powerful work of the Holy Ghost she was
brought to see and acknowledge herself an unworthy sinner, and no
better than those who were just then alarmed and brought from darkness
unto light, and from the power of Satan to the living God. Before
partaking for the last time of the Lord's supper, she was much
affected. "I perceive now," said she, "that I am a great sinner, and
am so ashamed that I dare hardly open my lips, for it is clear to me
that I am far behind others in love to our Saviour. It appears as if
he and I were yet strangers to each other, and I can do nothing but
weep for him." Afterwards she became composed, and earnestly longed
after communion with God. In her last illness, however, she showed
much uneasiness of mind, as if something disturbed her peaceful
expectation of dismissal. Brother Kohlmeister, who visited her very
faithfully, encouraged her to look up to Jesus, the author and
finisher of our faith; and on one occasion, particularly, offered up a
most fervent prayer to the Lord that he would remove all her doubts by
a full assurance that her
|