done--it must!"

When he had breakfasted and was outside in the cool, crisp air he felt
better. He walked briskly, swinging his arms to and fro to start the
circulation of his blood. He knew the car he was to take and he boarded
it, first buying a morning paper, which he could not read for thinking
of the delicious and agonizing things he had forsworn forever.

"It will never come through trying to forget," he finally said, with a
stoic shrug. "It will simply have to wear itself out. Maybe, after a few
months, a year, or two, I will be something like I was before Sam and I
went up to--" He checked himself again. "Oh, what's the use?" His very
mind seemed to sob and choke. A man seated near him asked him what time
it was, and John took out his watch and informed him in the casual tone
that any passenger might use to another.

"Thanks. Fine day," the man said, and John nodded and smiled.

CHAPTER XXXIX

One of Jane Holder's masculine admirers brought her home in a buggy from
the Square one afternoon, and when he had parted with her at the gate he
drove away. She went up to Mrs. Trott's room, finding that lady dressing
at her bureau.

"I felt dizzy on the street, and Tobe Overby brought me home," Jane
said, sinking into a chair and leaning on her sunshade. "I don't know
what is wrong with me, Liz. Tobe says the doctors won't be plain with me
and tell me the truth about my condition, and Tobe's all right. He gave
me a straight V just now, for the sake of old times. Huh! the doctors
needn't be mealy-mouthed with me. I've had enough of this game, Liz.
I've had my share of fun all through, and what more could I ask? You
don't think I want to get old, bent over, and snaggle-toothed, do you?
Not on your life! I'm a sport, old girl, and I'll be one to the dizzy
end. Huh! I guess!"

"Hush! Don't be silly!" her companion said, giving her an uneasy look,
as she turned, holding in her ringed fingers a wisp of her long hair
which she was pinning into a coil on the back part of her head. "I don't
like to hear you talk that way."

"I don't care whether you do or not, Liz, old girl." Jane forced a laugh
that was harsh to the point of rasping. "Sometimes it looks to me like
you are afraid to croak. Let the least thing get the matter with you and
you are scared out of your wits; but _me_? La me! I've had my day, Liz.
I don't want to be a she-hog--a sow. Enough is enough for Jane Holder.
Huh! It used to be 'Jennie' when I