lumsy makeshifts? I
suggested that, even appraising the one reliable ranch joke in all the
world at a high figure, she would still profit considerably by putting
in gates that were gates, in place of contrivances that could be handled
ideally only by a retired weight lifter in barbed-wire-proof armour.

I rapidly calculated, with the seeming high regard for accuracy that
marks all efficiency experts, that these wretched devices cost her
twenty-eight cents and a half each _per diem_. Estimating the total of
them on the ranch at one hundred, this meant to her a loss of
twenty-eight dollars and a half _per diem_. I used _per diem_ twice to
impress the woman. I added that it was pretty slipshod business for a
going concern, supposing--sarcastically now--that the Arrowhead was a
going concern. Of course, if it were merely a toy for the idle rich--

She had let me talk, as she will now and then, affecting to be engrossed
with her stock.

"Look at them white-faced darlings!" she murmured. "Two years old and
weighing eleven hundred this minute if they weigh a pound!"

Then I saw we approached a gate that amazingly was a gate. Hinges, yes;
and mechanical complications, and a pendant cord on each side. I tugged
at one and the gate magically opened. As we passed through I tugged at
the other and it magically closed. This was luxury ineffable to one who
had laboured with things that seemed to be kept merely for the sake of a
jest that was never of the best and was staling with use. It would also
be, I hoped, an object lesson to my hostess. I performed the simple rite
in silence, yet with a manner that I meant to be eloquent, even
provocative. It was.

"Oh, sure!" spoke Ma Pettengill. "That there's one of your _per-diem_
gates; and there's another leading out of this field, and about six
beyond--all of 'em just as _per diem_ as this one; and, also, this here
ranch you're on now is one of your going concerns." She chuckled at this
and repeated it in a subterranean rumble: "A going concern--my sakes,
yes! It moved so fast you could see it go, and now it's went." Noisily
she relished this bit of verbal finesse; then permitted her fancy again
to trifle with it. "Yes, sir; this here going concern is plumb gone!"

With active malice I asked no question, maintaining a dignified silence
as I lightly manipulated a second paragon of gates. The lady now rumbled
confidentially to herself, and I caught piquant phrases; yet still I
forbore