discriminate between the love of God the Father and God the Son.
It was God the Father that inspired in her the highest ecstasy, the most
complete abandonment of self. In these supreme moments the human form of
Jesus Christ was a hindrance, as in a lower level of spiritual
exaltation it was a help.

"The moment my prayer began to pass from the natural to the
supernatural, I strove to obliterate from my soul every physical
obstacle. To lift my soul up, to contemplate, I dared not; aware of my
imperfection it seemed over bold. Nevertheless I knew the presence of
God to be about me, and I tried to gather myself in him. And nothing
could then induce me to return to the sacred humanity of the Saviour."

But how touching is the saint's repentance for this infidelity to the
Divine Bridegroom.

"O Lord of my soul, of all my goods, Jesus crucified, I shall never
remember without pain that I once thought this thing. I shall think of
it as a great treason, and I stand convicted before the Good Master; and
though it proceeded from my ignorance, I shall never expiate it with
tears."

Just as every variation of habit, of fashion is noticeable to those who
live outside themselves, so the changes and complexities in the life of
the soul are perceived by them who live within themselves. The saint
relates how for many months she refrained from prayer, and as we know
that prayer was the source of all her joy, a joy touching ecstasy, often
above the earth and resplendent with vision, we can imagine the anguish
that these abstinences must have caused her.

"To destroy confidence in God the Demon spread a snare, his most
insidious snare. He persuaded me that owing to my imperfections I could
not, without being wanting in humility, present myself in prayer to God.
This caused me such anguish that for a year and a half I refrained. For
at least a year, for the six months following I am not sure of my
memory. Unfortunate one, what did I do! By my own act I plunged myself
in hell without demons being about to drag me there."

This scruple is followed by others. The saint suspects the entire
holiness of her joy in prayer, and she asks if these transports, these
ravishments, these moments in which she lies exhausted in the arms of
the Beloved Bridegroom, were contrived by the Demon or if they were
granted to her by God. Her anxiety is great, and men learned in holy
doctrine are consulted. They incline to the belief that her visions
proceed