ances alter cases. (He resumes his plucking
contentedly.)

TWEENY. But, Daddy, if the chance was to come of getting back?

LORD LOAM. I have given up bothering about it.

TWEENY. You bothered that day long ago when we saw a ship passing
the island. How we all ran like crazy folk into the water, Daddy, and
screamed and held out our arms. (They are both a little agitated.) But
it sailed away, and we've never seen another.

LORD LOAM. If we had had the electrical contrivance we have now we could
have attracted that ship's notice. (Their eyes rest on a mysterious
apparatus that fills a corner of the hall.) A touch on that lever,
Tweeny, and in a few moments bonfires would be blazing all round the
shore.

TWEENY (backing from the lever as if it might spring at her). It's the
most wonderful thing he has done.

LORD LOAM (in a reverie). And then--England--home!

TWEENY (also seeing visions). London of a Saturday night!

LORD LOAM. My lords, in rising once more to address this historic
chamber--

TWEENY. There was a little ham and beef shop off the Edgware Road--(The
visions fade; they return to the practical.)

LORD LOAM. Tweeny, do you think I could have an egg to my tea? (At
this moment a wiry, athletic figure in skins darkens the window. He is
carrying two pails, which are suspended from a pole on his shoulder, and
he is ERNEST. We should say that he is ERNEST completely changed if we
were of those who hold that people change. As he enters by the window he
has heard LORD LOAM's appeal, and is perhaps justifiably indignant.)

ERNEST. What is that about an egg? Why should you have an egg?

LORD LOAM (with hauteur). That is my affair, sir. (With a Parthian shot
as he withdraws stiffly from the room.) The Gov. has never put my head
in a bucket.

ERNEST (coming to rest on one of his buckets, and speaking with
excusable pride. To TWEENY). Nor mine for nearly three months. It was
only last week, Tweeny, that he said to me, 'Ernest, the water cure has
worked marvels in you, and I question whether I shall require to dip
you any more.' (Complacently.) Of course that sort of thing encourages a
fellow.

TWEENY (who has now arranged the dinner table to her satisfaction). I
will say, Erny, I never seen a young chap more improved.

ERNEST (gratified). Thank you, Tweeny, that's very precious to me.

(She retires to the fire to work the great bellows with her foot, and
ERNEST turns to TREHERNE, who has come in looking mo