ld each stand first in the
other's estimation. They have no right to forget each other's comfort,
convenience, sensitiveness, tastes, or happiness, in those of their
children. Nothing can discharge them from the obligations which they
are under to each other. But if a woman lets herself become shabby,
drudgy, and commonplace as a wife, in her efforts to be perfect as a
mother, can she expect to retain the consideration that is due to the
wife? Not a man in the world but would rather see his wife tidy, neat,
and elegant in her attire, easy and assured in her bearing, intelligent
and vivacious in her talk, than the contrary; and if she neglect these
things, ought she to be surprised if he turns to fresh woods and
pastures new for the diversion and entertainment which he seeks in vain
at home? This is quaky ground, but I know where I am, and I am not
afraid. I don't expect men or women to say that they agree with me,
but I am right for all that. Let us bring our common sense to bear on
this point, and not be fooled by reiteration. Cause and effect obtain
here as elsewhere. If you add two and two, the result is four, however
much you may try to blink it. People do not always tell lies, when
they are telling what is not the truth; but falsehood is still
disastrous. Men and women think they believe a thousand which they do
not believe; but as long as they think so, it is just as bad as if it
were so. Men talk--and women listen and echo--about the overpowering
loveliness and charm of a young mother surrounded by her blooming
family, ministering to their wants and absorbed in their welfare,
self-denying and self-forgetful; and she is lovely and charming; but if
this is all, it is little more than the charm and loveliness of a
picture. It is not magnetic and irresistible. It has the semblance,
but not the smell of life. It is pretty to look at, but it is not
vigorous for command. Her husband will have a certain kind of
admiration and love. Her wish will be law within a certain very
limited sphere; but beyond that he will not take her into his counsels
and confidence. A woman must make herself obvious to her husband, or
he will drift out beyond her horizon. She will be to him very nearly
what she wills and works to be. If she adapts herself to her children,
and does not adapt herself to her husband, he will fall into the
arrangement, and the two will fall apart. I do not mean that they
quarrel, but they will l