eople had plenty of
privacy back when you were kids. I was born and raised in the middle of
that goddamn barracks in the hall! How about--"

"Yeah?" challenged Morty. "Sure, you've all had it pretty tough, and my
heart bleeds for you. But try honeymooning in the hall for a real kick."

"_Silence!_" shouted Willy imperiously. "The next person who opens his
mouth spends the next sixth months by the bathroom. Now clear out of my
room. I want to think."

A vase shattered against the wall, inches above his head.

* * * * *

In the next moment, a free-for-all was under way, with each couple
battling to eject every other couple from the room. Fighting coalitions
formed and dissolved with the lightning changes of the tactical
situation. Em and Lou were thrown into the hall, where they organized
others in the same situation, and stormed back into the room.

After two hours of struggle, with nothing like a decision in sight, the
cops broke in, followed by television cameramen from mobile units.

For the next half-hour, patrol wagons and ambulances hauled away Fords,
and then the apartment was still and spacious.

An hour later, films of the last stages of the riot were being televised
to 500,000,000 delighted viewers on the Eastern Seaboard.

In the stillness of the three-room Ford apartment on the 76th floor of
Building 257, the television set had been left on. Once more the air was
filled with the cries and grunts and crashes of the fray, coming
harmlessly now from the loudspeaker.

The battle also appeared on the screen of the television set in the
police station, where the Fords and their captors watched with
professional interest.

Em and Lou, in adjacent four-by-eight cells, were stretched out
peacefully on their cots.

"Em," called Lou through the partition, "you got a washbasin all your
own, too?"

"Sure. Washbasin, bed, light--the works. And we thought _Gramps'_ room
was something. How long has this been going on?" She held out her hand.
"For the first time in forty years, hon, I haven't got the shakes--look
at me!"

"Cross your fingers," said Lou. "The lawyer's going to try to get us a
year."

"Gee!" Em said dreamily. "I wonder what kind of wires you'd have to pull
to get put away in solitary?"

"All right, pipe down," said the turnkey, "or I'll toss the whole kit
and caboodle of you right out. And first one who lets on to anybody
outside how good jail is ain't never g