and
I care not. But one thing I know right well; any man who 'cuts' a man
(except for vice or meanness) should be quartered without quarter.
All these proud thoughts rose within me as the lovely form of Lorna went
inside, and was no more seen. And then I felt how coarse I was; how apt
to think strong thoughts, and so on; without brains to bear me out: even
as a hen's egg, laid without enough of lime, and looking only a poor
jelly.
Nevertheless, I waited on; as my usual manner is. For to be beaten,
while running away, is ten times worse than to face it out, and take
it, and have done with it. So at least I have always found, because of
reproach of conscience: and all the things those clever people carried
on inside, at large, made me long for our Parson Bowden that he might
know how to act.
While I stored up, in my memory, enough to keep our parson going through
six pipes on a Saturday night--to have it as right as could be next
day--a lean man with a yellow beard, too thin for a good Catholic (which
religion always fattens), came up to me, working sideways, in the manner
of a female crab.
'This is not to my liking,' I said: 'if aught thou hast, speak plainly;
while they make that horrible noise inside.'
Nothing had this man to say; but with many sighs, because I was not of
the proper faith, he took my reprobate hand to save me: and with several
religious tears, looked up at me, and winked with one eye. Although the
skin of my palms was thick, I felt a little suggestion there, as of a
gentle leaf in spring, fearing to seem too forward. I paid the man, and
he went happy; for the standard of heretical silver is purer than that
of the Catholics.
Then I lifted up my little billet; and in that dark corner read it, with
a strong rainbow of colours coming from the angled light. And in mine
eyes there was enough to make rainbow of strongest sun, as my anger
clouded off.
Not that it began so well; but that in my heart I knew (ere three lines
were through me) that I was with all heart loved--and beyond that, who
may need? The darling of my life went on, as if I were of her own rank,
or even better than she was; and she dotted her 'i's,' and crossed
her 't's,' as if I were at least a schoolmaster. All of it was done in
pencil; but as plain as plain could be. In my coffin it shall lie, with
my ring and something else. Therefore will I not expose it to every man
who buys this book, and haply thinks that he has bought
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