ner, wherefore
should I compel myself unnecessarily, in order to please others, to
sacrifice my liberty to the 'king of evils,' even should I feel no
longer bound to obey the laws of the Society."

"I say, Fred, for goodness' sake stop," exclaimed Sandie Johnstone, "or
else you will sink us so deeply into the ruts of philosophy that our
friends will never be able to discover us."

"Go on, Fred, go on, you're a brick," cried Haveril. "Give Jenkins
another dig with your philosophical pick."

"Fair play," shouted Jenkins, "'tis my turn to bait the trap."

"Bait it with a bottle of brandy," cried Haveril, "and we'll see who'll
bite at it first."

"If Jenkins wont, I'll bet you a dollar you will," ejaculated Johnstone.

"Yes, Haveril would bite at the very devil if his Satanical Majesty was
filled to the teeth with brandy," exclaimed Jenkins, the others
chorusing with a series of discordant laughs.

"Well, well, gentlemen," exclaimed Fred, "if you desire the continuance
of my friendship, and if you wish to respect the dignity of morality and
the English language, you must refrain from using such insinuating
balderdash and bar-room-slang."

"You're right, Fred, stick to your subject and make them all your
subjects," said Ernest Stevens.

"Why, Fred, if you would only take a gentle sipling of the nectar you
would know how to appreciate and enjoy our company," said Henderson.

"True friendship and true happiness are based upon more _solid_ material
than _liquids_," replied Frederick.

"Well, Fred, as you are a sort of philosopher, allow me to ask you, if
the true destiny of man, both here and hereafter, is not the enjoyment
of life?" interrogated Henderson.

"Certainly, sir," replied Fred; "but I further believe that our Maker
designed that man should use the proper means for the promotion of both
terrestrial and celestial happiness."

"Our opinions are identical, then," exclaimed Henderson. "We are both of
the same mind and yet cannot agree; and the reason is simply this--that
I occasionally partake of a social glass with my friends as a means to
awaken and promote enjoyment; whereas you teetotally reject the means.
This delicious nectar sparkling before me has the inherent virtues of
making me truly happy; I, therefore, use it for its medicinal qualities.
So here is my best respects to you all, boys,--not forgetting you,
Fred," added Henderson, raising the tumbler to his lips and draining the
liquor to its ver