hen upon thy native rack
As varying modes compel,
Till next year's fashions bring thee back,
My Chimneypot, farewell!

THE 1713 AGAINST NEWNHAM

[This Fragment will be found to contain, in a concentrated form, all
the constituent parts of Greek Tragedy. It has an Anagnorisis, because
its subject is the Recognition of Women. It also contains _at least
one_ Peripeteia: and the action has been strictly confined, chiefly by
the Editor of the _Magazine_, within one revolution of the sun.]

SCENE: _Interior of a Ladies' College_

LEADER OF THE CHORUS OF LADIES

Sisters, from far upon my senses steals
A sound of crackers and of Catherine wheels,
By which I know the Senate in debate
Decides our future and the country's fate:
And lo! a herald from the city's stir
I see arrive--the usual Messenger.

_Enter a Messenger_

_M._ O maiden guardians of this sacred shrine--

_Ch._ Observe the rules: you've had your single line.

_M._ Say, is the Lady Principal at home?

_Ch._ Thou speak'st, as one for information come.

_M._ I ask the question, for I wish to know.

_Ch._ By shrewd conjecture one might guess 'twas so.

_M._ Go, tell your Lady I would speak with her.

_Ch._ About what thing? what quest dost thou prefer?

_M._ I bear a tale I hardly dare to tell.

_Ch._ Why vex her ears, when ours will do as well?

_M._ Hear then the facts which with self-seeing eyes
I witnessed, not receiving from another.
For when I came within those doors august
Where sat the Boule, doubting if to grant
The boon of honour which the women ask,
Or not: and like some Thracian Hellespont
Tides of opinion flowed in different ways,
Until obeying some divine decree
(This is a Nominative Absolute)
The hollow-bellied circle of a hat
Received their votes (and now, but not till now,
Observe my true apodosis begin)--
Arithmetic, supreme of sciences,
Proclaimed that persons to the number of
One thousand seven hundred and thirteen
Voted Non-Placet (or, It does not please),
While thrice two hundred, also sixty-two,
Voted for Placet on the other side;
Who, being worsted, come as suppliants
With boughs and fillets and the rest complete,
Winging the booted oarage of their feet
Within your gates: the obscurantist rout
Pursue them here with threats, and swear they'll