s you out the tip,
(Though the censor seal the lip)
That he'll soon be "on the hip"--
Will the Kaiser.
For his submarines are sinking,
And his men in trenches, stinking,
While the Western world is linking
'Gainst the Kaiser.

He'll be picked up in a basket,
With a U-Boat for a casket,
And a name plate, if he ask it.
"KAISER BILL."
Then "submerge" in kerosene,
Kept in memory ever green
As the profligate, obscene
Kaiser Bill.

THE RAW RECRUIT

Ses Corporal Madden to Private McFadden:
Be gob, ye're a bad 'un;
Now turn out your toes;
Yer belt is unhookit
Yer cap is on crookit
Ye may not be dhrunk,
But be jabers, ye look it;
Wan-two! Wan-two!
Ye monkey faced devil, I'll jolly ye through!
Wan-two! Time! Mark!
Ye march like the aigle in Cintheral Park.

Ses Corporal Madden to Private McFadden:
A saint it ud sadden
To dhrill such a mug;
Eyes front! ye baboon ye!
Chin up! ye gossoon, ye!
Ye've jaws like a goat--
Halt! ye leather lipped loon, ye!
Wan-two! Wan-two!
Ye whiskered orang-outang, I'll fix you!
Wan-two! Time! Mark!
Ye've eyes like a bat, can ye see in the dark?

Ses Corporal Madden to Private McFadden:
Yer figger wants padd'n--
Sure man, ye've no shape;
Behind ye yer shoulders
Stick out like two boulders;
Yer shins are as thin
As a pair of penholders;
Wan-two! Wan-two!
Yer belly belongs on yer back, ye Jew!
Wan-two! Time! Mark!
I'm as dry as a dog--I can't spake but I bark!

SERVING IN TEXAS

To old Satan Texas was given
By the Lord who lives in Heaven,
And the Devil quoth "I've got what's needed
To make a good Hell," and he succeeded.
He put sharp thorns all over the trees,
And mixed up sand with millions of fleas;
He scattered tarantulas along the roads,
Puts thorns on cactus, and horns on toads.
He lengthened the horns of the Texas steers,
And put an addition to the rabbit's ears;
He put a little devil in the bronco steed,
And poisoned the feet of the centipede.
The rattlesnake bites, the scorpion stings,
The mosquitos delight with their, buzzing wings;
The sand burs prevail, and so do the ants,
And those who sit down, need half-soles in their pants.
The heat in the summer is one hundred and ten,
Too hot for the Devil and too hot for the men;