she was trembling, she went as though to the scaffold,
but she went, she went without looking back, resolutely. She had
evidently determined to put it to the test at last: would those
sweet amazing words be heard when I was not there? I saw her, pale,
her lips parted with horror, get into the sledge, shut her eyes and
saying good-bye for ever to the earth, set off. . . . "Whrrr!"
whirred the runners. Whether Nadenka heard those words I do not
know. I only saw her getting up from the sledge looking faint and
exhausted. And one could tell from her face that she could not tell
herself whether she had heard anything or not. Her terror while she
had been flying down had deprived of her all power of hearing, of
discriminating sounds, of understanding.

But then the month of March arrived . . . the spring sunshine was
more kindly. . . . Our ice-hill turned dark, lost its brilliance
and finally melted. We gave up tobogganning. There was nowhere now
where poor Nadenka could hear those words, and indeed no one to
utter them, since there was no wind and I was going to Petersburg
--for long, perhaps for ever.

It happened two days before my departure I was sitting in the dusk
in the little garden which was separated from the yard of Nadenka's
house by a high fence with nails in it. . . . It was still pretty
cold, there was still snow by the manure heap, the trees looked
dead but there was already the scent of spring and the rooks were
cawing loudly as they settled for their night's rest. I went up to
the fence and stood for a long while peeping through a chink. I saw
Nadenka come out into the porch and fix a mournful yearning gaze
on the sky. . . . The spring wind was blowing straight into her
pale dejected face. . . . It reminded her of the wind which roared
at us on the ice-hill when she heard those four words, and her face
became very, very sorrowful, a tear trickled down her cheek, and
the poor child held out both arms as though begging the wind to
bring her those words once more. And waiting for the wind I said
in a low voice:

"I love you, Nadya!"

Mercy! The change that came over Nadenka! She uttered a cry, smiled
all over her face and looking joyful, happy and beautiful, held out
her arms to meet the wind.

And I went off to pack up. . . .

That was long ago. Now Nadenka is married; she married--whether
of her own choice or not does not matter--a secretary of the
Nobility Wardenship and now she has three children.