destruction of people, sacking of towns, and
plundering the country; yet 'twas in Germany, and among strangers; but
I found a strange, secret and unaccountable sadness upon my spirits,
to see this acting in my own native country. It grieved me to the
heart, even in the rout of our enemies, to see the slaughter of them;
and even in the fight, to hear a man cry for quarter in English, moved
me to a compassion which I had never been used to; nay, sometimes
it looked to me as if some of my own men had been beaten; and when
I heard a soldier cry, "O God, I am shot," I looked behind me to see
which of my own troop was fallen. Here I saw myself at the cutting of
the throats of my friends; and indeed some of my near relations. My
old comrades and fellow-soldiers in Germany were some with us, some
against us, as their opinions happened to differ in religion. For my
part, I confess I had not much religion in me, at that time; but I
thought religion rightly practised on both sides would have made us
all better friends; and therefore sometimes I began to think, that
both the bishops of our side, and the preachers on theirs, made
religion rather the pretence than the cause of the war. And from those
thoughts I vigorously argued it at the council of war against marching
to Brentford, while the address for a treaty of peace from the
Parliament was in hand: for I was for taking the Parliament by the
handle which they had given us, and entering into a negotiation, with
the advantage of its being at their own request.

I thought the king had now in his hands an opportunity to make an
honourable peace; for this battle of Edgehill, as much as they boasted
of the victory to hearten up their friends, had sorely weakened their
army, and discouraged their party too, which in effect was worse as to
their army. The horse were particularly in an ill case, and the foot
greatly diminished, and the remainder very sickly; but besides this,
the Parliament were greatly alarmed at the progress we made afterward;
and still fearing the king's surprising them, had sent for the Earl of
Essex to London, to defend them; by which the country was, as it were,
defeated and abandoned, and left to be plundered; our parties overrun
all places at pleasure. All this while I considered, that whatever the
soldiers of fortune meant by the war, our desires were to suppress
the exorbitant power of a party, to establish our king in his just
and legal rights; but not with a