uiet of the country sink into one's
body and bones and give his conscience a rest, and chloroform the legion
of invisible small devils that are always trying to whitewash his hair.
A good many Americans go there about the first of March and remain until
the early spring weeks have finished their villainies at home.

The Bermudians are hoping soon to have telegraphic communication with
the world. But even after they shall have acquired this curse it will
still be a good country to go to for a vacation, for there are charming
little islets scattered about the inclosed sea where one could live
secure from interruption. The telegraph-boy would have to come in a
boat, and one could easily kill him while he was making his landing.

We had spent four days in Bermuda--three bright ones out of doors and
one rainy one in the house, we being disappointed about getting a yacht
for a sail; and now our furlough was ended, and we entered into the ship
again and sailed homeward.

We made the run home to New York quarantine in three days and five
hours, and could have gone right along up to the city if we had had a
health permit. But health permits are not granted after seven in the
evening, partly because a ship cannot be inspected and overhauled
with exhaustive, thoroughness except in daylight, and partly because
health-officers are liable to catch cold if they expose themselves to
the night air. Still, you can buy a permit after hours for five dollars
extra, and the officer will do the inspecting next week. Our ship and
passengers lay under expense and in humiliating captivity all night,
under the very nose of the little official reptile who is supposed to
protect New York from pestilence by his vigilant "inspections." This
imposing rigor gave everybody a solemn and awful idea of the beneficent
watchfulness of our government, and there were some who wondered if
anything finer could be found in other countries.

In the morning we were all a-tiptoe to witness the intricate ceremony
of inspecting the ship. But it was a disappointing thing. The
health-officer's tug ranged alongside for a moment, our purser handed
the lawful three-dollar permit fee to the health-officer's bootblack,
who passed us a folded paper in a forked stick, and away we went. The
entire "inspection" did not occupy thirteen seconds.

The health-officer's place is worth a hundred thousand dollars a year
to him. His system of inspection is perfect, and therefore can