e? I ought to have taken the office, simply
out of regard for Vinicius. In case of overwork I could have surrendered
command to him, and Nero would not have even tried to resist. Then let
Vinicius baptize all the pretorians, nay, Caesar himself; what harm could
that be to me? Nero pious, Nero virtuous and merciful,--this would be
even an amusing spectacle."

And his carelessness was so great that he began to laugh. But after a
time his thoughts turned in another direction. It seemed to him that
he was in Antium; that Paul of Tarsus was saying to him, "Ye call us
enemies of life, but answer me, Petronius: If Caesar were a Christian,
and acted according to our religion, would not life be safer and more
certain?"

And remembering these words, he continued: "By Castor! No matter how
many Christians they murder here, Paul will find as many new ones; for
he is right, unless the world can rest on scoundrelism. But who knows
that this will not be the case soon? I myself, who have learned not a
little, did not learn how to be a great enough scoundrel; hence I shall
have to open my veins. But in every case it must have ended thus, and if
not thus, in some other way. I am sorry for Eunice and my Myrrhene vase;
but Eunice is free, and the vase will go with me. Ahenobarbus will not
get it, in any event! I am sorry also for Vinicius. But, though I was
bored less of late than before, I am ready. In the world things are
beautiful; but people are so vile for the greater part that life is not
worth a regret. He who knew how to live should know how to die. Though
I belong to the Augustians, I was freer than they supposed." Here he
shrugged his shoulders. "They may think that my knees are trembling
at this moment, and that terror has raised the hair on my head; but
on reaching home, I will take a bath in violet water, my golden-haired
herself will anoint me; then after refreshment we will have sung to us
that hymn to Apollo composed by Anthemios. I said once to myself that
it was not worth while to think of death, for death thinks of us without
our assistance. It would be a wonder if there are really Elysian fields,
and in them shades of people. Eunice would come in time to me, and
we should wander together over asphodel meadows. I should find, too,
society better than this. What buffoons, tricksters, a vile herd without
taste or polish! Tens of Arbiters Elegantiarum could not transform those
Trimalchilons into decent people. By Persephon