is love, his tenderness, and a residence in his
splendid mansion? To this question he found no answer, and arrived only
at a kind of dim understanding that between him and Lygia, between their
ideas, between the world which belonged to him and Petronius, and the
world of Lygia and Pomponia, there existed some sort of difference, some
kind of misunderstanding as deep as an abyss, which nothing could fill
up or make even. It seemed to him, then, that he must lose Lygia; and
at this thought he lost the remnant of balance which Petronius wished to
preserve in him. There were moments in which he did not know whether he
loved Lygia or hated her; he understood only that he must find her, and
he would rather that the earth swallowed her than that he should not see
and possess her. By the power of imagination he saw her as clearly at
times as if she had been before his face. He recalled every word which
he had spoken to her; every word which he had heard from her. He felt
her near; felt her on his bosom, in his arms; and then desire embraced
him like a flame. He loved her and called to her.

And when he thought that he was loved, that she might do with
willingness all that he wished of her, sore and endless sorrow seized
him, and a kind of deep tenderness flooded his heart, like a mighty
wave. But there were moments, too, in which he grew pale from rage, and
delighted in thoughts of the humiliation and tortures which he would
inflict on Lygia when he found her. He wanted not only to have her, but
to have her as a trampled slave. At the same time he felt that if the
choice were left him, to be her slave or not to see her in life again,
he would rather be her slave. There were days in which he thought of the
marks which the lash would leave on her rosy body, and at the same time
he wanted to kiss those marks. It came to his head also that he would be
happy if he could kill her.

In this torture, torment, uncertainty, and suffering, he lost health,
and even beauty. He became a cruel and incomprehensible master. His
slaves, and even his freedmen, approached him with trembling; and when
punishments fell on them causelessly,--punishments as merciless as
undeserved,--they began to hate him in secret; while he, feeling this,
and feeling his own isolation, took revenge all the more on them. He
restrained himself with Chilo alone, fearing lest he might cease his
searches; the Greek, noting this, began to gain control of him, and grew
mor