anew the feeling of
homelessness, affected him far less than the jeering outburst of his
father concerning the thanks due him from the world.

A disintegration of the thoughts and feelings of the youth had taken
place, and it was impossible to anticipate what changes might be
brought about in these different elements through the introduction of a
new agency. A feeling had been awakened within him, that he must bear
an indelible stain for his whole lifetime.

The mists dissolved, the day was bright, the sun shone warmly, but
Sonnenkamp was chilly, and wrapped himself in his cloak. He sat in the
carriage, staring out upon the road, but he saw nothing except the
shadow of one of the horses, and this shadow was moving its legs to and
fro. Is everything only a shadow in like manner? Is what moves you and
draws you onward just such a shadow as this?

A vehicle coming towards them raised a cloud of dust, at which
Sonnenkamp stared. Whenever you look at this dust, you feel as if you
must be smothered by it; but when you are in the midst of it, turn your
face away, and it is not so bad after all. Perhaps what has now
happened is just such a whirling cloud of dust. Turn your face away.

He saw the shepherds with their sheep upon the stubble-field, and asked
himself: Is that a better life? He wanted to sleep; he threw away his
cigar and shut his eyes. It seemed to him as if the carriage were all
the time going down hill. But when he opened his eyes, they were on the
level road.

Again he shut his eyes, for this was the only way he could be alone.

And now he really went to sleep. Roland gazed in silence out into the
bright sunshine. Ah, the sight of nature is helpful only to the joyous,
or to one who is beginning to rally from sorrow; she brings no
consolation to the heavy laden and the deeply saddened spirit; her
changelessness, her unsympathizing and steadfast life, seem almost
insulting.

Up to this time, Roland had lived in that twilight realm which
separates youth from manhood, and now the period of youth was closed.
His pride had been turned to shame, but he was mature enough to forget
himself soon, and to direct his regards to his father, who is doubly
unhappy; unhappy on his own account, and on account of having brought
harm upon others--upon those nearest to him.

Sonnenkamp slept; but in his dreamy state between wakefulness and
sleep, the rattling carriage-wheels seemed to him the clanking chains
of fettered s