nd gentlemen: It was with surprise not unmixed with pardonable
pride that I heard you calling my name upon this momentous occasion. But
never has Marshall Adams failed to listen to the call of his country in
dishtresh!" he cried, making a determined effort to control his
inebriated aitches and waving his sword arm defiantly.

"And we are in dire distress, my countrymen! Never since the
bloodstained days of eighteen shixty-five have we been in such need of
courage. We face a terrible situation. I addresh you in behalf of these
fair woman whom we shee before us, and who are about to suffer the
irreparable loss of their sphere. No greater calamity could befall this
great nation. For four long years, through the snows of winter and the
heat of summer, we fought for them, my countrymen, to preserve their
homes, their traditions, their honour and pride as the fairest flowers
in this fair land!" Deafening applause, during which the Colonel waited,
sanctified by his emotions; then waving his hand for silence, he went
on:

"And we did preserve them! The Yankees relieved us of the burden of a
few unprofitable slaves. They slew the best and the bravest of our men.
They took our wealth and reduced us to unimaginable poverty and
hardship. But, thank God, we saved our women! We returned to them
ragged, wounded, footsore, and despairing, and we found them faithful as
the stars in their courses. More inspiring than 'pillows' of fire by
night and of cloud by day, they led us back to hope and love and
prosperity. They were the trophies of the brave which no enemy could
wrest from us----"

"Oh Lord! listen to him! That thar's a man talkin' up thar!" shouted an
old veteran.

"--and we went on shaving 'em, gentlemen! There has never been another
country in the world reduced to ashes by war where the women were not
forced to work shoulder to shoulder with the men afterward to reclaim
her. But we treasured our women. We did the work, we kept them comely
and fine. We educated them when we could not educate ourselves. We
poured our wealth at their feet--and that's why they have the smallest
feet in America, gentlemen, the fairest skin, the softest palms."

There was a slight sniffing to be heard here among the farmers' wives,
but he went on to his conclusion:

"And now, my comrades, we must save them again; they are about to be
dragged from the shanctity of the home, from the altar of the fireside,
into the grime and dirt of publicity. T