arriving
on Earth on 24th August. I take it your letter says the same. I came
on a dispatch boat; you can go back on it."
_Now_ what is he talking about? Then I get the drift.
I say, "Look. So Dad will be on Earth before we get back. What
difference does that make?"
"You can't let him arrive and find you missing."
Well I admit to a qualm at the thought of Dad let loose on Earth
without me, but after all Uncle Charlie is a born Terrie and can keep
him in line; Hell he is old enough to look after himself anyway.
"You met my Dad," I point out. "You think J. X. Lee would want any
daughter of his backing out on a job so as to hold his hand? I can
send him a letter saying I am off on a job or a Test or whatever I
please and hold everything till I get back; what are you doing about
people's families on Earth already?"
M'Clare says we were all selected as having families not on Earth at
present, and I must go back.
I say like Hell I will.
He says he is my official guardian and responsible for me.
I say he is just as responsible for everyone else on this ship.
I spent years and years trying to think up a remark would really get
home to M'Clare; well I have done it now.
I say, "Look. You are tired and worried and maybe not thinking so well
just now.
"I know this is a very risky job, don't think I missed that at all. I
tried hard to imagine it like you said over the speaker. I cannot
quite imagine dying but I know how Dad will feel if I do.
"I did my level best to scare myself sick, then I decided it is just
plain worth the risk anyway.
"To work out a thing like this you have to have a kind of arithmetic,
you add in everybody's feelings with the other factors, then if you
get a plus answer you forget everything else and go right ahead.
"I am not going to think about it any more, because I added up the sum
and got the answer and upsetting my nerves won't help. I guess you
worked out the sum, too. You decided four million people were worth
risking twenty, even if they do have parents. Even if they are your
students. So they are, too, and you gave us all a chance to say No.
"Well nothing has altered that, only now the values look different to
you because you are tired and worried and probably missed breakfast,
too."
Brother some speech, I wonder what got into me? M'Clare is wondering,
too, or maybe gone to sleep sitting, it is some time before he answers
me.
"Miss Lee, you are deplorably rig
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