y
longer. I don't care for fairs myself, where you have to go and buy
somethin' you don't want, for five times what it's worth, and call it
givin' to the Lord. And I don't care to give a chicken, and then have
to pay for eatin' the same old bird afterwards. I won't eat soda
biscuit unless I know who made 'em. Church fairs are an invention of
the devil to make people think they're religious, when they are only
mighty restless and selfish.

"The only thing to do is to put your hands in your trousers pockets
and pay, cash down, just as you would in any business transaction. And
by cash, I don't mean five cents in the plate Sunday, and a dollar for
a show on Tuesday. We've none of us any business to pretend to give to
the Lord what doesn't cost a red cent, as the Bible says, somewheres.
Now don't get nervous. I'm going to start a subscription paper right
here and now. It'll save lots of trouble, and you ought to jump at the
chance. You'll be votin' me a plated ice-water pitcher before we get
through, for bein' so good to you--just as a little souvenir of the
evenin'."

A disjointed murmur of disapproval rose from sundry parts of the room
at this summary way of meeting the emergency. Nelson, who had tried in
vain to catch the eye of the chair, rose at a venture and remarked
truculently:

"This is a most unusual proceeding, Mrs. Burke."

The chair remained immobile--but Hepsey turned upon the foe like a
flash of lightning.

"Precisely, Mr. Nelson. And we are a most unusual parish. I don't
claim to have any information gained by world-wide travel, but livin'
my life as I've found it here, in ths town, I've got to say, that this
is the first time I ever heard of a church turnin' its rector out of
house and home, and refusin' to give him salary enough to buy food
for his family. Maybe in the course of your professional travels this
thing has got to be an everyday occurrence to you,--but there's some
of us here, that 'aint got much interest in such goings-on, outside of
Durford."

"You have no authority to raise money for the church; I believe the
Warden will concur in that opinion?" and he bowed towards Bascom.

"That is a point for the meeting to decide," he replied judicially, as
Hepsey turned towards him.

"Seems to me," continued Mrs. Burke, facing the audience, "that
authority won't fill the rector's purse so well as cash. It's awful
curious how a church with six Vestrymen and two Wardens, all of them
good busin