he
Federation. We ready ourselves for war. We gird our young, strong
loins, we--"

"You're getting hysterical," said Warcraft, who poured himself another
drink, began pacing the floor and took up where Banner had left off.
"We've never even been lost on patrol. And now they do this. It's
unbelievable! Potato fertilizer and tractor fuel. We're supposed to
travel thirty-six light-years, pick up one thousand sleds of the stuff,
deliver it to some God-forsaken farm planet another thirty years out,
and return to base. You know what they'll do then?" He turned to
Banner, pointed his finger accusingly and repeated, "You know what
they'll do then?"

"How would I know," said Banner, glumly staring into his drink.

"Well, I can tell you what they'll do. Yes, sir, I can tell you."
Warcraft's pudgy face and oversize brown eyes seemed to melt into each
other, giving him the appearance of an angry, if not very bright,
chimpanzee.

"O.K., what'll they do?" Banner said.

"They'll give us medals. That's what they'll do. For safe delivery of
one million tons of tractor fuel, you two fine specimens of manhood are
hereby presented with the Order of the Oil. And for your courageous
service in delivering two million tons of potato fertilizer, you are
also awarded the shield of--"

"Never mind," Banner said. "It could be worse. They could've saddled us
with a Bean Brain. Come on. Let's go to some bar and get sober. We're
leaving for freight duty at 1700."

* * * * *

The Bean Brain met them at the air lock. "Name is Arnold. Here's my
orders." Banner stared at Warcraft, Warcraft stared at Arnold.

"Get inside," said Banner.

The Bean Brain smiled, "Er ... could you sort of lead the way? I've
never been inside a ship before. If you got some kind of can, it would
save a mess. I'll probably vomit a while."

They stopped calling him Bean Brain three days later. He was still
sick, miserably spacesick, and neither Banner nor Warcraft had the
heart to keep needling him. On the fourth day he managed to get up and
around. They ate their first meal together that day. "Let's get
something straight right off the bat," Banner said. "Neither Warcraft
nor I got anything against you 'cept prejudice. That right, Warcraft?"

"Right," Warcraft said.

"In short," continued Banner, between puffs on a cigarette, "all we
know is what we've heard."

"And that's not good," said Warcraft.

"Item one," said B