party assembled aboard, and the host addressed the
men appropriately, asking them to accept his hospitality. The sailors'
spokesman replied that they never wished to serve a better governor
than he, and the banquet commenced. The owner, his wife, and his
daughter--a beautiful girl of twenty--together with the captain, went
quietly up the ladder at the fore-end of the house and listened to what
was said. The owner was grateful at hearing such good things said about
himself, though the eulogy was flavoured with a pungency of language
that was not intended for delicate ears. At last one of the crew
finished, tossed his tin plate on the floor, and said:

"That's a damned good dinner, boys."

A second, third and fourth said the same thing. The owner was worked up
into an ecstasy of joy, and poked the skipper in the ribs as the others
kept throwing their plates down and expressing satisfaction. The owner
whispered: "It's a walk over, captain."

"Not yet," responded the skipper.

The last of the three broke the continuity of complete satisfaction by
remarking that the dinner was all right, but to make it perfect their
wives and sweethearts should have been asked. The captain became
obviously nervous, and asked the owner and his wife and daughter to
withdraw, but they refused. Then came the last but one, who said that
the only thing that would make the dinner faultless to him would be
that he should propose marriage to the owner's daughter and be
accepted. The mother and daughter became virtuously agitated, and the
captain again urged withdrawal, but they insisted on staying for the
last chap's opinion, who became eloquent in his praises of all
concerned. "But," said he to the last speaker, "you want to have the
old man's daughter in marriage. I don't mind her so much; the only
thing that would make me satisfied with the thing would be for the
owner to die, so that I might marry his widow and get the coin."

The captain nearly took a fit, and the worthy host exclaimed: "Oh, mon
dieu!" Thereupon the ladies became hysterical, and the commander having
recovered from his embarrassment, said:

"Well, I suppose you will admit that I was right?"

"Yes," said the owner; "I never for one moment anticipated it would
take both my wife and daughter to satisfy them, but you have won, and
my faith in the possibility of pleasing sailors is broken. You shall
have the hundred pounds."

There is a more recent story, which is said to be