e of
lights, when the scene is generally admitted to be like the nether
regions.

I know we went ashore somehow or other, and that we could hardly see for
the shouting and yelling! We felt fortunate in having a Mrs
Deputy-Commissioner for a companion, for she was bubbling over with
humour and anecdote. She and G. promptly began shopping, and certainly
succeeded in getting two rather becoming topees, flatter and prettier
than any I have yet seen--you might call them Romney topees; one may
appear in sketches further on. I sketched of course--always keep
"screeb, screeb, screebling all day long," as an irate German lady once
put it to me, "screebled" a cafe scene; on the left you see a native,
who calls himself Jock Furgusson, trying to pass off a "Genuine Egyptian
Scarab" to a tourist. Jock Furgusson is infinitely more wonderful and
artistic to me than the pyramids, for he can imitate accents so as to
make you gasp; he spots anyone's nationality instantaneously--before you
have opened your lips he knows your county! I believe he can distinguish
between the English of a Lowland Scot and a Highlander, which is more
than '_Punch_' does after all these years of practice. "Ah'm, Jock
Furgusson frae Auchtermurrchty and Achterlony, longest maun in the forty
twa," he begins--but somebody help me--I've forgotten how he goes on, a
long rigmarole in broadest Doric; the words and intonation so perfect,
you can so little believe your eyes that you are landed with a scarab or
a string of beads before you have recovered, and he is off to another
passenger, clippin' 'is g's and r's and puttin' in h's to some
Englishmen.

The inhabitants of Port Said, we are told, represent the scourings of
the Levant; too bad for Cairo, and black-balled for Hell. All the same
G. and I went ashore by ourselves after dinner, rather proud of our
courage, for several passengers said it wasn't safe. It used not to be
safe, I know, but I asked the Chief-Engineer what he thought, and he
took his right hand in his left, all but the very tip of the little
finger which he measured off with his left thumb nail, and said, "a
black maun's heart's no as big as that." So we went ashore and had no
adventures at all, but sat in a balcony and listened to pretty good
music, and noted the few drowsy figures in the side streets, the glow of
lamp or brazier on their heavy draperies, contrasting with the starlight
and the deep velvety shadows--moth-like colouring, and intens