were my due. The conviction that _my
father_--the one to whom my childish heart naturally turned for sympathy
in all my little joys and sorrows--regarded me coldly--for his
demonstrations of affection were indeed few and far between--exercised a
subduing and repressive influence upon me from which, even now, I have
not wholly recovered, and which will probably continue to affect me to
the latest hour of my life. What made my position decidedly worse was
that my father had, so far, not deemed it necessary to send me to
school; and I had, therefore, no companions of my own age, none of _any_
age, in fact, except Mary, the nursemaid aforementioned, and Mrs
Wilson, the housekeeper; the latter--good motherly body--so far
compassionating the state of utter ignorance in which I was growing up
that, in an erratic, unmethodical sort of way, she occasionally devoted
half an hour or so of her time of an evening to the task of forwarding
my education. In consequence of this state of things I often found it
difficult to effect a satisfactory disposal of the time left to lie
somewhat heavily on my hands.

I have said that Mrs Wilson was kind enough to undertake my education;
and very faithfully and to the best of her ability, poor soul, she
carried on the task. But nature had evidently intended the old lady to
be a housekeeper, and not an instructress of youth; for whilst she
performed the duties of the former post in a manner which left
absolutely nothing to be desired, it must be confessed that in her self-
imposed task of schoolmistress she failed most lamentably. Not through
ignorance, however, by any means. She was fairly well educated, having
"seen better days," so she was possessed of a sufficiency of knowledge
for her purpose had she but known how to impart it. Unfortunately,
however, for me she did not; she was entirely destitute of that tact
which is the great secret of successful instruction; she had not the
faintest conception of the desirability of investing my studies with the
smallest particle of interest; and they were in consequence dry as the
driest of dry bones and unattractive in the extreme. She never dreamed
that it might be advantageous to explain or point out the ultimate
purpose of my lessons to me, or to illustrate them by those apposite
remarks which are often found to be of such material assistance to the
youthful student; if I succeeded in repeating them perfectly "out of
book" the good woman was