ber called. When 'bout tu leave he sed: 'Parson, ye preach
yer fust sermon Sunday; I want ye to start right. We hed a good many
dances through the winter, and our peepul is very fond uf dancin'.
Thur's two ur three big dances to kum off soon. These members thet dance
is all willun workers an' liberal givers; ef ye pitch into dancin' en
frolikin' in yer fust sermon hit's sure to raise a click in the church
thet'll be agin ye. Therefore I wouldn't mention anythin' 'bout dancin'
in my fust sermon ef I wus ye.' Soon another called. After he'd talked a
spell, he kum to the pint: 'Parson, we got some mighty fine hosses an'
most uf 'em belongs to the leadin' members uf yer church an' we has hoss
races an' we bets on 'em, an' ef ye preach 'bout anythin' uf thet kind
in yer fust sermon it'll hurt the hoss bizness an' put some uf the best
members uf the congregashun agin ye.' The preacher raised his hans in
holy horror, as he said: 'I can't preach agin the frivolities of
fashun, dancin' an' sich; I can't preach agin drunkenness; I can't
preach agin gamblin'. Fur heavin's sake, what kin I preach about?' 'I'll
tell ye,' volunteered the caller quickly, 'preach about the Jews, jes
gin 'em hell, thar's only one in town.'"

Lin concluded, "Maybe Uncle Tom figgered the same way on yer kase," and
she roared with laughter as she gave Alfred a playful push.

After the boasting Alfred had indulged in previous to going on tour with
Eli, he could not face his friends. He borrowed five dollars from Lin
and in a careless way, informed the family that the next day he would go
up to Uncle Jake's for a couple of weeks' visit. He packed up his
belongings, bade the family an affectionate good-bye and ran away, like
many another coward has done before and since. He was not in debt to any
extent, it was simply his vanity, a false pride that would not permit
him to face the little world in which he lived. Those who should have
advised him censured; those who had influence for good held aloof. He
went to a big city, to Pittsburg, to seek his fortune among strangers,
return rich, reward all who were kind to him and humble all who had lost
faith in him.

He went aboard the boat bound for Pittsburg. He slept soundly and was
only awakened by the clanging of bells and the blowing of whistles.
Peering out of the stateroom ventilator, his eyes met a sight such as he
had never witnessed before. Fire in long-tongued flashes blazed up a
hundred feet out of blac