.

ON CAPTAIN FRANCIS GROSE.

[This was a festive sally: it is said that Grose, who was very fat,
though he joined in the laugh, did not relish it.]

The devil got notice that Grose was a-dying,
So whip! at the summons, old Satan came flying;
But when he approach'd where poor Francis lay moaning,
And saw each bed-post with its burden a-groaning,
Astonish'd! confounded! cry'd Satan, "By ----,
I'll want him, ere I take such a damnable load!"

* * * * *

XXXII.

IMPROMPTU,

TO MISS AINSLIE.

[These lines were occasioned by a sermon on sin, to which the poet and
Miss Ainslie of Berrywell had listened, during his visit to the
border.]

Fair maid, you need not take the hint,
Nor idle texts pursue:--
'Twas guilty sinners that he meant,
Not angels such as you!

* * * * *

XXXIII.

THE KIRK OF LAMINGTON.

[One rough, cold day, Burns listened to a sermon, so little to his
liking, in the kirk of Lamington, in Clydesdale, that he left this
protest on the seat where he sat.]

As cauld a wind as ever blew,
As caulder kirk, and in't but few;
As cauld a minister's e'er spak,
Ye'se a' be het ere I come back.

* * * * *

XXXIV.

THE LEAGUE AND COVENANT.

[In answer to a gentleman, who called the solemn League and Covenant
ridiculous and fanatical.]

The solemn League and Covenant
Cost Scotland blood--cost Scotland tears;
But it sealed freedom's sacred cause--
If thou'rt a slave, indulge thy sneers.

* * * * *

XXXV.

WRITTEN ON A PANE OF GLASS,

IN THE INN AT MOFFAT.

[A friend asked the poet why God made Miss Davies so little, and a
lady who was with her, so large: before the ladies, who had just
passed the window, were out of sight, the following answer was
recorded on a pane of glass.]

Ask why God made the gem so small,
And why so huge the granite?
Because God meant mankind should set
The higher value on it.

* * * * *

XXXVI.

SPOKEN,

ON BEING APPOINTED TO THE EXCISE.

[Burns took no pleasure in the name of gauger: the situation was
unworthy of him, and he seldom hesitated to say so.]

Searching auld wives' barrels,
Och--hon! the day!
That clarty barm should stain my laurel