honso Butterby and my most highly respected mother-in-law. Such a
family, according to all rule precedent, should be superlatively happy;
but there seems to be a disturbing element in all families, and mine,
alas! proved no exception. It came about thus.

Among the few parting words of my deceased ma were, "Mosie" (she always
called me Mosie), "never live with your mother-in-law." Treasuring the
command, as I may say I treasured everything the dear old lady left,
including the property, when finally the day _was_ fixed, I set about
obeying it. On an occasion when Mrs. Mountchessington Lawk--the name of
my respected mother-in-law--had described our imaginary bower, and her
imaginary apartment adjoining, until she had worked herself into a fever
of imaginary happiness, I mildly communicated the behest of my departed
parent.

The scene which followed I can only characterize as indescribably
touching. The look of blank despair on the face of Malinda Jane, and the
tears of rage and mortification that suffused the aristocratic nose of
her ma, I frankly confess, went to the bottom of my heart. It was many
months before I ceased to regret this rude banishment of their hopes;
but, looking upon it from my present stand-point, I am compelled to
admit my dear dead ma was right.

The only accident worthy of remark that happened to Malinda Jane on our
wedding-day was a fright. I have reason to congratulate myself at its
occurring _on_ that day, instead of a few weeks subsequent. The
consequences in the latter event, it is needless to say to married
people, might have been serious.

Passing out of the church-door, we were confronted by a drunken cobbler,
who, in a wild and insane manner, proposed "three cheers for Jinny." The
assembled crowd of dilapidated urchins hanging around the steps
proceeded to give them with a vim faintly suggestive of ridicule. The
single glance I obtained of the discourteous offender gave me an idea of
chimneys. His face was smoky, his clothes were fleecy, and his general
appearance was decidedly sooty throughout. A shock head, and more shocky
eyebrows, bore a strange resemblance to the patent chimney-sweep; while
his clothes seemed rich in past memories of the profession. I had before
caught sight of this individual, in a tumble-down, rickety shop near the
residence of Mrs. Mountchessington Lawk. I had, in fact, seen her on
more than one occasion bestowing charity upon him in the form of broken
victuals