slim of muzzle, thick of breech, with its wicked
little throaty cry, doing its business over a flat trajectory a thousand
yards away: I love her as a man should love those. Little did I dream
that she would betray me.

I took in the line and went aboard. At that moment I almost understood
the snag-boat captain's bearing. To be master of the _Atom I_ seemed
quite enough; but to be the really truly captain of a big red and white
snag-boat--it must have been overwhelming!

I dropped out into the current that, fresh from its plunge of four
hundred feet in sixteen miles, ran briskly. Everything was in readiness.
I meant to put a crimp in the vanity of that free-information bureau.

I turned on the switch, opened the needle valve, swung the throttle over
to the notch numbered with a big "2." I placed the crank on the wheel
and gave it a vigorous turn.

"Poof!" said the engine sweetly, and the kind word encouraged me
immensely. Again I cranked.

"Poof! Poof!"

It seemed that I had somehow misunderstood the former communication, and
it was therefore repeated with emphasis. Like a model father who walks
the floor with the weeping child, tenderly seeking the offending pin, I
looked over the engine. "What have I neglected?" said I. I intended to
be quite logical and fair in the matter.

I once presided over a country newspaper that ran its presses with a
gasoline engine with a most decided artistic temperament. That engine
used to have a way of communing silently with its own soul right in the
middle of press day. I remembered this with forebodings. I remembered
how firm but kind I was obliged to be with that old engine. I remembered
how it always put its hands in its pockets and took an extended vacation
every time I swore at it. I decided to be nothing but a perfect
gentleman with this engine. I even endeavored to be a jovial good
fellow.

"What is it, Little One?" said I mentally; "does its little carburetor
hurt it? Or did the bad man strangle it with that horrid old gasoline?"

I tenderly jiggled its air valve, fiddled gently with its spark-control
lever. I cranked it again. It barked at me like a dog! I had been kind
to it, and it barked right in my face. I wanted to slap it. I lifted my
eyes and saw that the rapid current would soon carry me past the town
landing. I seized a paddle and shoved her in. Of course, a member of the
free-information bureau was at the landing. He had with him a bland
smile and a choice