had put my hands over my ears, if I had crouched back, away from the
door, and covered my head, I need not have overheard. But I pressed as
close as I could to the panel, and hardly breathed, because I wanted not
to miss a word. And I didn't miss a word. I heard what it was never
meant I should hear, and--I'm nothing but a common--_eavesdropper_!"

"Now, what do you think of that?" observed Mrs. Slawson. "Now, what do
you think of that?"

"I've tried once or twice to tell him--" continued Claire.

"Tell who? Tell Mr. Van Brandt?"

"No, Mr. Ronald."

"O! You see, when you speak o' _he_ an' _him_ it might mean almost any
gen'l'man. But I'll try to remember you're always referrin' to Mr.
Ronald."

"I've tried once or twice to tell him, for I can't bear to be
untruthful. But, then, I remember I'm 'only the governess'--'the right
person in the right place'--of so little account that--that he doesn't
even know whether I'm pretty or not! And the words choke in my throat. I
realize it wouldn't mean anything to him. He'd only probably gaze down
at me, or he'd be kind in that lofty way he has--and put me in my place,
as he did the first time I ever saw him. And so, I've never told him. I
couldn't. But sometimes I think if I did--if I just _made_ myself do it,
I could hold up my head again and not feel myself growing bitter and
sharp, because something is hurting me in my conscience."

"That's it!" said Martha confidently. "It's your conscience. Believe
_me_, consciences is the dickens an' all for makin' a mess o' things,
when they get right down to business. Now, if I was you, I wouldn't
bother Mr. Ronald with my squalms o' conscience. Very prob'ly when it
comes to consciences he has troubles of his own--at least, if he ain't,
he's an exception an' a rare curiosity, an' Mr. Pierpont Morgan oughter
buy him for the Museum. When your conscience tells you you'd oughter
tell, ten to one you'd oughtn't. Give other folks a chance. What they
don't know can't worry 'em. Besides, your just _tellin_' a thing don't
let you out. You can't get clear so easy as that. It's up to you to work
it out, so what's wrong is made _right_, an' do it _yourself_--not trust
to nobody else. You can't square up by heavin' your load offn your own
shoulders onto another fella's. You think you feel light coz you done
your dooty, when ten to one you _done_ your friend. No! I wouldn't
advise turnin' state's everdence on yourself unless it was to save
anot