FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   100   101   102   103   104   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   121   122   123   124  
125   126   127   128   129   >>  
is eyes on Stepton as he said the last words, and seemed to emerge from his former condition of self-absorption. "You have sat often. Have you ever felt such a sensation? It is like growth," he said. "When one first begins to sit at seances, one is apt to imagine all sorts of things in the darkness," returned Stepton. "I dare say I did, like other folk." "I understand," said Chichester, with a sort of strange condescension. "You think I was merely the victim of absurdity. The sense of this coming of power grew slowly, but steadily, within me. And presently it was complicated by another development, which involved--or began to involve, let me say at this point--my companion, Marcus Harding. I think I ought to tell you that in beginning the sittings I had had certain doubts, which were swept away by my admiration of, and faith in, my rector. Hitherto I had always thought that our human knowledge was deliberately limited by God, and that it was very wrong to strive to know too much. The man of science no doubt believes that it is impossible to know too much; but I have thought that many great truths are kept from us because we are not yet in a condition properly to understand them. I had, therefore, begun these practices with a certain tremor, and possibly a certain feeling of resistance, in the depths of my soul. As I felt the power coming to me I had put away my fears. They did not return. Yet surely the new development within me, of which I now became aware, was connected with those fears, however subtly. It was a sensation almost of hostility directed against Marcus Harding." "Ah, now!" ejaculated the professor, as if in despite of himself. "And where's the connection you speak of?" "Marcus Harding had constrained me to do a thing that in my soul I had believed to be wrong and that had roused my fear. As power dawned in me, directing itself upon everything about me, it was instinctively hostile to him who had dominated me before I had any power, and who, by dominating me, had for a moment made me afraid." "Retrospective enmity! Very well!" muttered the professor. "I understand you. Keep on!" "This hostility--if I may call a feeling at first not very definite by so definite a name--induced in me a critical attitude of mind. I found myself, to my surprise, secretly criticizing the man whom till now I had regarded as altogether beyond the reach of criticism. I felt that Marcus Harding was giving me power. I
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   100   101   102   103   104   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   121   122   123   124  
125   126   127   128   129   >>  



Top keywords:
Harding
 

Marcus

 

understand

 
coming
 

feeling

 

thought

 

hostility

 

professor

 

development

 

sensation


definite

 
condition
 

Stepton

 
surprise
 
criticizing
 

subtly

 

directed

 

ejaculated

 

secretly

 

altogether


criticism

 

return

 

depths

 

possibly

 

giving

 
resistance
 

surely

 

connection

 

connected

 

regarded


constrained

 

dominated

 
tremor
 

hostile

 

afraid

 

Retrospective

 

moment

 

dominating

 

muttered

 

induced


believed
 
roused
 

enmity

 

dawned

 

instinctively

 
critical
 

attitude

 
directing
 
deliberately
 

Chichester