O)!

_Daughter of the House_. "TELL ME, PROFESSOR BORAX, HOW DID YOU LIKE
THE LADY MAMMA GAVE YOU TO TAKE IN TO DINNER?"

_The Professor_ (_innocently_). "MY DEAR GIRL, SHE'S SIMPLY THE MOST
CHARMING WOMAN I EVER MET! _I NEVER TALKED SO MUCH IN MY LIFE!_"]

* * * * *

IN A MAZE.

"Mr. BALFOUR brought up a new sub-section, which he admitted
was so obscure that he only 'more or less' understood it
himself, and which, indeed, is of '_plusquam_-Thucydidean'
dimness and involution.... There is no excuse, we must say,
for the muddle into which the Government has got over the
Bill.... The House of Commons has adjourned for a short
holiday, but the Irish Land Purchase Bill is not yet through
Committee.... There still remained all the new clauses, for
which no time had been found."--_Times_.

_Little Bill loquitur_:--

Oh do, if you please, Mr. BALFOUR, Sir, if you _can_,--and who can if you
can't, Sir?--
Get me out of this Maze, where for days and days I have strayed till I'm
all of a pant, Sir.
Twelve months ago we started, you know, and I've been on my feet ever
since, Sir.
And oh, if you please, I feel weak at the knees, and the pains in my back
make me wince, Sir.
Mister HOOD's "Lost Child" wasn't half as had, for he only strayed in the
gutter,
While this dreadful Maze is enough to craze; and _my_ feeling of lostness
is utter.
Oh, my poor feet! This is worse than Crete, and old Hampton Court isn't
in it.
Oh stop, _do_ stop! for I feel I shall drop if I don't sit down half a
minute.

I really thought you knew the way out--which I own _I_'m unable to guess,
Sir--
And now 'twould appear you are far from clear, and are puzzled "more or
less," Sir.
The paths are really so twirly-whirly, the hedges so jimble-jumbled;
It must be hundreds and hundreds of miles along which we have staggered
and stumbled.
I thought you _were_ a cool card. Mister BALFOUR, and did know your way
about. Sir,
But what I should like to know at present is, when we are like to get
out, Sir.
How LABBY will laugh at the Labyrinth-maker, who gets lost in his own
Great Maze, Sir!
Don't say, Sir, pray, that you've lost _your_ way,--you, whom people so
cosset and praise Sir.
You won't be hurried, and you can't be flurried, and you're always as
cool as