las! we have too little interfered with each other's concerns--we have
lived too much asunder--who knows but I may recall him?' My tears would
not let me go on--'nor will they now,' added she, wiping her fine eyes.

"Sir John and I were too much touched to attempt to answer her: at
length she proceeded.

"'By adhering to Lady Jane's directions, I have begun to get acquainted
with my own heart. Little did I suspect the evil that was in it. Yet I
am led to believe that the incessant whirl in which I have lived, my
total want of leisure for reflection, my excessive vanity and complete
inconsiderateness, are of themselves causes adequate to any effects
which the grossest vices would have produced.

"'Last week my lord made us a visit at the castle. I gave him a warm
reception; but he seemed rather surprised at the cold one which I gave
to a large cargo of new French novels and German plays, which he had
been so good as to bring me. I did not venture to tell him that I had
changed my course of study. Lady Jane charged me to avoid giving him the
least disgust by any unusual gravity in my looks, or severity in my
conversation. I exerted myself to such good purpose that he declared he
wanted neither cards nor company. I tried to let him see, by my change
of habits rather than by dry documents, or cold remonstrances, the
alteration which had taken place in my sentiments. He was pleased to see
me blooming and cheerful. He told Lady Jane he never saw me so pleasant.
He did not know I was so agreeable a woman, and was glad he had this
opportunity of getting acquainted with me. As he has great expectations
from her, he was delighted at the friendship which subsisted between
us.

"'He brought us up to town. As it was now empty, the terrors of the
masquerade no longer hung over me, and I cheerfully complied with his
wishes. I drove immediately to Mrs. Stokes's with such a portion of my
debt, as my retirement had enabled me to save. I feasted all the way on
the joy I should have in surprising her with this two hundred pounds.
How severe, but how just was my punishment, when on knocking at the
door, I found she had been dead these two months! No one could tell what
was become of her daughter. This shock operated almost as powerfully on
my feelings as the first had done. But if it augmented my self-reproach,
it confirmed my good resolutions. My present concern is how to discover
the sweet girl, whom, alas, I have helped to deprive of