within a month of coming beneath her stony
ministrations.

In appearance Miss Smellie was tall, thin, and flat. Most exceedingly
and incredibly flat. Impossibly flat. Her figure, teeth, voice, hair,
manner, hats, clothes, and whole life and conduct were flat as
Euclid's plane-surface or yesterday's champagne.

To counter-balance the possession, perhaps, of so many virtues, gifts,
testimonials, and certificates she had no chin, no eyebrows, and no
eyelashes. Her eyes were weak and watery; her spectacles strong and
thick; her nose indeterminate, wavering, erratic; her ears large, her
teeth irregular and protrusive, her mouth unfortunate and not
guaranteed to close.

An ugly female face is said to be the index and expression of an ugly
mind. It certainly was so in the case of Miss Smellie. Not that she
had an evil or vicious mind in any way--far from it, for she was a
narrowly pious and dully conscientious woman. Her mind was ugly as a
useful building may be very ugly--or as a room devoid of beautiful
furniture or over-crowded with cheap furniture may be ugly.

And her mind was devoid of beautiful thought-furniture, and
over-crowded with cheap and ugly furniture of text-book facts. She was
an utterly loveless woman, living unloving, and unloved--a terrible
condition.

One _could not_ like her.

Deadly dull, narrow, pedantic, petty, uninspiring, Miss Smellie's
ideals, standards, and aims were incredibly low.

She lived, and taught others to live, for appearances.

The children were so to behave that they might appear "genteel". If
they were to do this or that, no one would think they were young
ladies or young gentlemen.

"If we were out at tea and you did that, I _should_ be ashamed," she
would cry when some healthy little human licked its jarnmy fingers,
and "_Do_ you wish to be considered vulgar or a little gentleman,
Damocles?"

Damocles was profoundly indifferent on the point and said so plainly.

They were not to be clean of hand for hygienic reasons--but for fear
of what people might "think"; they were not to be honourable, gentle,
brave and truthful because these things are fine--but because of what
the World might dole out in reward; they were not to eat slowly and
masticate well for their health's sake--but by reason of "good
manners"; they were not to study that they might develop their powers
of reasoning, store their minds, and enlarge their horizons--but that
they might pass some infernal examin