out the barrack-yard, practising the goose-step, or some
other nonsense not becoming my age nor my habits.' But so it was. Well,
this went on for some time, and sure, if they were hard on my father,
hadn't he his revenge; for he nigh broke their hearts with his stupidity.
Oh, nothing in life could equal him! Devil a thing, no matter how easy, he
could learn at all; and so far from caring for being in confinement, it was
that he liked best. Every sergeant in the regiment had a trial of him, but
all to no good; and he seemed striving so hard to learn all the while that
they were loath to punish him, the ould rogue!

"This was going on for some time, when, one day, news came in that a
body of the rebels, as they called them, was coming down from the Gap of
Mulnavick to storm the town and burn all before them. The whole regiment
was of coorse under arms, and great preparations was made for a battle.
Meanwhile patrols were ordered to scour the roads, and sentries posted at
every turn of the way and every rising ground to give warning when the boys
came in sight; and my father was placed at the Bridge of Drumsnag, in the
wildest and bleakest part of the whole country, with nothing but furze
mountains on every side, and a straight road going over the top of them.

"'This is pleasant,' says my father, as soon as they left him there alone
by himself, with no human creature to speak to, nor a whiskey-shop within
ten miles of him; 'cowld comfort,' says he, 'on a winter's day; and faix,
but I have a mind to give ye the slip.'

"Well, he put his gun down on the bridge, and he lit his pipe, and he sat
down under an ould tree and began to ruminate upon his affairs.

"'Oh, then, it's wishing it well I am,' says he, 'for sodgering; and bad
luck to the hammer that struck the shilling that 'listed me, that's all,'
for he was mighty low in his heart.

"Just then a noise came rattling down near him. He listened, and before
he could get on his legs, down comes' the general, ould Cohoon, with an
orderly after him.

"'Who goes there?' says my father.

"'The round,' says the general, looking about all the time to see where was
the sentry, for my father was snug under the tree.

"'What round?' says my father.

"'The grand round,' says the general, more puzzled than afore.

"'Pass on, grand round, and God save you kindly!' says my father, putting
his pipe in his mouth again, for he thought all was over.

"'D--n your soul, where are you