come together and be
perfectly honest, they would all admit they didn't believe anything of
it.

Only a little while ago a couple of ladies were riding together from a
revival in a carriage late at night, and one said to the other; as they
rode along: "I am going to say something that will shock you, and I
beg of you never to tell it to anybody else. I am going to tell it to
you." "Well, What is it?" Says she: "I don't believe in the bible."
The other replied: "Neither do I." I have often thought how splendid
it would be if the ministers could but come together and say: "Now let
us be honest. Let us tell each other, honor bright--like Dr. Currie
did in the meeting here the other day--let us tell just what we
believe." They tell a story that in the old time a lot of people,
about twenty, were in Texas in a little hotel, and one fellow got up
before the fire, put his hands behind him, and says he: "Boys, let us
all tell our real names." If the ministers and the congregations would
only tell their real thoughts they would find that they are nearly as
bad as I am, and that they believe just about as little.

Now, I have been talking a great deal about the orthodox religion; and,
after having delivered a lecture, I would meet some good, religious
person, and he would say to me: "You don't tell it as we believe it."
"Well, but I tell it as you have it written in your creed." "Oh,
well," he says, "we don't mind that any more." "Well, why don't you
change it?" "Oh, well," he says, "we understand it." Possibly the
creed is in the best possible condition for them now. There is a tacit
understanding that they don't believe it. There is a tacit
understanding that they have got some way to get around it, that they
read between the lines; and if they should meet now to form a creed,
they might fail to agree; and the creed is now so that they can say as
they please, except in public. Whenever they do so in public, the
church, in self-defense, must try them; and I believe in trying every
minister that doesn't preach the doctrine as he agrees to. I have not
the slightest sympathy with a Presbyterian preacher who endeavors to
preach infidelity from his pulpit and receive Presbyterian money. When
he changes his views, he should step down and out like a man, and say:
"I don't believe your doctrine, and I will not preach it. You must
hire some bigger fool than I am."

But I find that I get the creed very nearly right.