but she always
managed to avoid it. Preparations were being made for the return to
Sainte-Severe; she seemed neither sorry nor pleased at the prospect.
I determined to slip a note between the page of her book asking for an
interview. Within five minutes I received the following reply:

"An interview would lead to nothing. You are persisting in your boorish
behaviour; I shall persevere in what I believe to be the path of
integrity. An upright conscience cannot go from its word. I had sworn
never to be any man's but yours. I shall not marry, for I did not swear
that I would be yours whatever might happen. If you continue to be
unworthy of my esteem I shall take steps to remain free. My poor father
is sinking into the grave; a convent shall be my refuge when the only
tie which binds me to the world is broken."

I had fulfilled all the conditions imposed by Edmee, and now, it seemed,
her only return was an order that I should break them. I thus found
myself in the same position as on the day of her conversation with the
abbe.

I passed the remainder of the day shut up in my room. All through the
night I walked up and down in violent agitation. I made no effort to
sleep. I will not tell you the thoughts that passed through my
mind; they were not unworthy of an honest man. At daybreak I was at
Lafayette's house. He procured me the necessary papers for leaving
France. He told me to go and await him in Spain, whence he was going to
sail for the United States. I returned to our house to get the clothes
and money indispensable to the humblest of travellers. I left a note
for my uncle, so that he might not feel uneasy at my absence; this I
promised to explain very soon in a long letter. I begged him to refrain
from passing sentence on me until it arrived, and assured him that I
should never forget all his goodness.

I left before any one in the house was up; for I was afraid that my
resolution might be shaken at the least sign of friendship, and I felt
that I could no longer impose upon a too generous affection. I could
not, however, pass Edmee's door without pressing my lips to the lock.
Then, hiding my head in my hands, I rushed away like a madman, and
scarcely stopped until I had reached the other side of the Pyrenees.
There I took a short rest, and wrote to Edmee that, as far as concerned
myself, she was free; that I would not thwart a single wish of hers; but
that it was impossible for me to be a witness of my rival's tri