"Major," I says, "you terrify me and may do the pet a permanent injury
you would never forgive yourself."
"Madam," says the Major, "next to my regret that when I had my
boot-sponge in my hand, I didn't choke that scoundrel with it--on the
spot--"
"There! For Gracious' sake," I interrupts, "let his conscience find him
without sponges."
"--I say next to that regret, Madam," says the Major "would be the regret
with which my breast," which he tapped, "would be surcharged if this fine
mind was not early cultivated. But mark me Madam," says the Major
holding up his forefinger "cultivated on a principle that will make it a
delight."
"Major" I says "I will be candid with you and tell you openly that if
ever I find the dear child fall off in his appetite I shall know it is
his calculations and shall put a stop to them at two minutes' notice. Or
if I find them mounting to his head" I says, "or striking anyways cold to
his stomach or leading to anything approaching flabbiness in his legs,
the result will be the same, but Major you are a clever man and have seen
much and you love the child and are his own godfather, and if you feel a
confidence in trying try."
"Spoken Madam" says the Major "like Emma Lirriper. All I have to ask,
Madam, is that you will leave my godson and myself to make a week or
two's preparations for surprising you, and that you will give me leave to
have up and down any small articles not actually in use that I may
require from the kitchen."
"From the kitchen Major?" I says half feeling as if he had a mind to cook
the child.
"From the kitchen" says the Major, and smiles and swells, and at the same
time looks taller.
So I passed my word and the Major and the dear boy were shut up together
for half an hour at a time through a certain while, and never could I
hear anything going on betwixt them but talking and laughing and Jemmy
clapping his hands and screaming out numbers, so I says to myself "it has
not harmed him yet" nor could I on examining the dear find any signs of
it anywhere about him which was likewise a great relief. At last one day
Jemmy brings me a card in joke in the Major's neat writing "The Messrs.
Jemmy Jackman" for we had given him the Major's other name too "request
the honour of Mrs. Lirriper's company at the Jackman Institution in the
front parlour this evening at five, military time, to witness a few
slight feats of elementary arithmetic." And if you'll believe me th
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