hat do YOU call her, ma'am?' asked Mr Boffin.

Mrs Lammle disdained to reply, and sat defiantly beating one foot on the
ground.

'Again I think I may say, that's not impossible. Is it, sir?' asked Mr
Boffin, turning to Alfred.

'It is not,' said Alfred, smiling assent as before, 'not impossible.'

'Now,' said Mr Boffin, gently, 'it won't do. I don't wish to say a
single word that might be afterwards remembered as unpleasant; but it
won't do.'

'Sophronia, my love,' her husband repeated in a bantering manner, 'you
hear? It won't do.'

'No,' said Mr Boffin, with his voice still dropped, 'it really won't.
You positively must excuse us. If you'll go your way, we'll go ours, and
so I hope this affair ends to the satisfaction of all parties.'

Mrs Lammle gave him the look of a decidedly dissatisfied party demanding
exemption from the category; but said nothing.

'The best thing we can make of the affair,' said Mr Boffin, 'is a matter
of business, and as a matter of business it's brought to a conclusion.
You have done me a great service, a very great service, and I have paid
for it. Is there any objection to the price?'

Mr and Mrs Lammle looked at one another across the table, but neither
could say that there was. Mr Lammle shrugged his shoulders, and Mrs
Lammle sat rigid.

'Very good,' said Mr Boffin. 'We hope (my old lady and me) that you'll
give us credit for taking the plainest and honestest short-cut that
could be taken under the circumstances. We have talked it over with a
deal of care (my old lady and me), and we have felt that at all to lead
you on, or even at all to let you go on of your own selves, wouldn't be
the right thing. So, I have openly given you to understand that--'
Mr Boffin sought for a new turn of speech, but could find none so
expressive as his former one, repeated in a confidential tone, '--that
it won't do. If I could have put the case more pleasantly I would; but
I hope I haven't put it very unpleasantly; at all events I haven't meant
to. So,' said Mr Boffin, by way of peroration, 'wishing you well in the
way you go, we now conclude with the observation that perhaps you'll go
it.'

Mr Lammle rose with an impudent laugh on his side of the table, and Mrs
Lammle rose with a disdainful frown on hers. At this moment a hasty foot
was heard on the staircase, and Georgiana Podsnap broke into the room,
unannounced and in tears.

'Oh, my dear Sophronia,' cried Georgiana, wringing her hands as s