ng the proceedings of the
court-martial to my native country, and the long period which elapsed
before its return, were spent in the bosom of domestic bliss, where I
found refuge from the storm. The contemplation of my recent fall would
at times sink me in gloomy despair, and it was my wife only who could
divert my mind from useless forebodings, and whisper in my ear sweet
hopes of better days to come. I removed some miles from the regiment, as
I could not bear the commiserating remarks of the soldiers as they
passed me, which only served to plunge me deeper in the vortex of
despondency. From these motives I was induced to remove from that
station where my profession had been my pride and boast, to where I
should not meet the pitying countenances of those brave fellows with
whom I had often shared in glory, and where I could, unmolested and
undisturbed, think of the future, and compose my feelings. On leaving
the regiment, and passing by the houses of the officers, that hung on
the rapid Ganges, my feelings can be better imagined than described.
Need I be ashamed to confess that I felt the tear trickling down my
cheek, and a weight at my heart that the utmost ingenuity of man cannot
accurately describe. I could not help comparing my then forlorn
situation with the day I looked back on the little white village spire
out-topping the high poplars that reared their heads over the
briar-woven grave of my mother, save that I had now one near and dear to
me, and ever ready to share the cup of sorrow. Many of the men whom I
had befriended and had got promoted, followed my boat on the banks of
the river, wishing me every prosperity, till prudence bade them return
to their lines. The feelings I experienced on this occasion are such as
the tyrant soldier never knows, and never ought to know. These friendly
greetings of the men gratified my pride, but only sunk my heart deeper
in anguish. Scarcely were my feelings so composed as to reconcile me in
some degree to my fate, when an event, the most dreadful and agonizing,
and which of all others I was the least prepared for, happened to her on
whom I had built my most felicitous hopes, when more halcyon days should
visit our humble cot. I could have borne poverty with a smile of
contentment; but this blow was vital, and at once dashed the flattering
cup of hope from my lips. During my long and harassing trial, such was
the anxiety of my wife, that a premature birth of a boy was the
cons