gave me
leave to grumble--well, then, I am so horribly disappointed. Here have
life and death been sitting on either side of me for the past month,
and throwing with dice for me. I saw them as plainly as I can see you.
The queer thing was they were exactly alike, yet I knew them apart from
the first. Day and night I heard the rattle of the dice--it became
hideously monotonous--and felt the mouth of the dice-box on my chest
when they threw. I backed death heavily. It seemed to me there were
ways of loading the dice. I loaded them. But it wasn't to be, mother.
Life always threw the highest numbers--and life had the last throw."
"I praise God for that," Katherine said, very softly.
"I don't, unfortunately," he answered. "I hoped for a neat little
execution--a little pain, perhaps, a little shedding of blood, without
which there is no remission of sins--but I suppose that would have been
letting me off too easy."
He drew away his hand and covered his eyes.
"When I had seen you I seemed to have made my final peace. I understood
why I had been kept waiting till then. Having seen you, I flattered
myself I might decently get free at last. But I am branded afresh,
that's all, and sent back to the galleys."
Lady Calmady's eyes sought the radiant prospect--the green of the
garden, the slender columns of the airy pavilion, the lilac land set in
the azure of sea and sky. No words of hers could give comfort as yet,
so she would remain silent. Her trust was in the amiable ministry of
time, which may bring solace to the tormented, human soul, even as it
reclothes the mountainside swept by the lava stream, or cleanses and
renders gladly habitable the plague devastated city.
But there was a movement upon the bed. Richard had turned on his side.
He had recovered his self-control, and once more looked fixedly at her.
"Mother," he said calmly, "is your love great enough to take me back,
and give yourself to me again, though I am not fit so much as to kiss
the hem of your garment?"
"There is neither giving nor taking, my beloved," she answered, smiling
upon him. "In the truth of things, you have never left me, neither have
I ever let you go."
"Ah! but consider these last four years and their record!" he rejoined.
"I am not the same man that I was. There's no getting away from fact,
from deeds actually done, or words actually said, for that matter. I
have kept my singularly repulsive infirmity of body, and to it I have
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